I took my first trip to New York City when I was 4 and I fell in love.
"Look at all those castles, mama," I whispered as I looked out the window and saw nothing but skyscrapers and beautiful old buildings that looked like royalty (well, to a toddler, at least). Since the age of 4, I had my heart set on NYC.
As it came time to apply for college, New York University was my dream school, but unfortunately for me I didn't have their "dream grades." From sixth grade to my sophomore year of high school, I never really made school a first priority. I was at the age where cliques were becoming a thing. To me, it was always important to fit in first and worry about school last. My mom constantly warned me I would end up paying for my grades when it came time for college, but what 15-year-old cares about college?
By junior year I started working really hard and, to my surprise, doing really well in school. I had raised my GPA from about a 3.2 to a 3.74 (thanks to the weighted AP courses). When it came time to apply for college, I met with a counselor who nearly laughed in my face when I said I wanted to apply for Penn State, which immediately sent my dream of NYU out the door.
She said, "Your GPA isn't terrible but you SAT scores are average. If I were you, I wouldn't bother applying to Penn State -- but you will definitely get into Temple."
Temple had always been one of my top choices in schools, because I knew I wanted to be in a city; I was just counting on New York.
Despite my counselor's words of discouragement, I applied to both Temple and Penn State and was accepted to both. No decision had to be made; I wanted the city. Now, of course, it's every mother's worst nightmare to hear her daughter wants to go to school in North Philadelphia; but that didn't deter me one bit because I couldn't wait to be in the city.
I'm now a senior at Temple and have learned more valuable lessons over the past four years in Philadelphia than I have in the rest of my 21 years on this earth. I would not trade my time in this city for anything.
1. Individuality is celebrated.
Almost all universities pride themselves on the diversity their campus provides, and that may be true; but beyond the walls of a campus, diversity is sparse. In Philadelphia, however, students have the opportunity to live among long-time residents and families and become a part of the community.
So often, the idea of the individual is criticized while fitting in and conformity is capitalized on. In Philadelphia, however, no two individuals are alike and individuality is evident and embraced with open arms. I was born and raised in a town where people are so similar and have the same beliefs or world views. Philadelphia is a city that has opened my door to so many unique and beautiful people. My four years in Philadelphia have opened my mind to so many different ways of seeing the world.
2. Independence is encouraged.
Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, as I ride the subway to my internship, I think back to four years ago when I was terrified to even take the train by myself. "I could get robbed," "I could get attacked" or "I'm an easy target" were all excuses for why I refused to take the train. But the bottom line is, I never needed to be independent.
Philadelphia has not only encouraged me to be independent, but forced me into opportunities to be independent. If I wanted to go home for a weekend, I needed to be independent and take the train on my own. If I wanted an internship, I needed not to worry about where my friends were applying but rather worry about what was best for me in the long run.
My independence has grown vastly from the time I applied to Temple to being a senior about to graduate. Doing things on my own no longer scares me or worries me, but excites me. I love the long walks I take on my own each morning and I take in every second of it. I take in the nannies playing with children in the park, or young mothers jogging with their babies in strollers. I take in the people walking their dogs (and sometimes contemplate how to steal their precious puppies) and the elderly couples walking arm in arm. I take in the little side streets with such beauty and history and envy those who have the privilege to live in homes so beautiful. Each morning along my walk, I remind myself I got here because of the independence this city has given me.
3. Humility is inevitable.
In my hometown, there are many people struggling to get by, or housing developments occupied by the working class and somewhat rundown. But for the most part, I came from an area seen as a nice neighborhood. I went to a high school that was brand new and a school district that was reputable and never lacking resources. The school districts surrounding mine are also some of the best the state has to offer. While I didn't necessarily have it all, it sure felt like I did.
It felt even more that way when I came to Philadelphia. In Philadelphia, struggling to get by is standing out on a street corner asking for money for a cup of coffee or something to eat, not living in a townhouse or apartment complex. In Philadelphia, the funding for schools is compared to that of a Third World country and resources are sparse or simply don't exist.
In a city with so much life, I also see so much death. I see abandoned buildings that were once filled with life. I see schools being shut down and students moved elsewhere or just left without an education. I see hurt in the way people carry themselves. Those who may have once stood tall now walk with a chip on their shoulders. Yet, when I see all these things, I see people making the very best out of the situations they have found themselves in, and I am reminded daily to be humble and appreciate every single thing I have.
As much as I was looking forward to getting out of high school, I am eternally grateful for the education I received. As much as I was looking forward to getting out of my "boring" town, I thank God every day that each night I had a bed to lie on and a roof over my head, and I don't think any other city could have taught me that.
4. Family is more than blood.
Philadelphia is home to sports teams that every other state loves to hate: the Eagles, the Flyers, the 76ers and, of course, the Temple Owls. But the thing about Philly is, those teams bring us together, even if it's only for a game. For a second, everyone forgets about their differences and celebrates the fact that they are on the same team.
I have heard more conversations started between two strangers simply due to one of them wearing an Eagles or Flyers Jersey, or during Temple football season if someone had on their cherry and white.
All sports teams have their die-hard fans, as well as the bandwagon fans. In Philly, you're either a die-hard fan or you don't like sports. There really is no in-between. We love our teams when the season is awesome (TUFB '15) and we love our teams when the season is somewhat of a let down.
While sports may be the reason people are being brought together, the underlying lesson is that something as simple as sports can create a spoken (or unspoken) family-like bond between strangers throughout the entire city -- and that's something I've only ever seen in Philadelphia.
5. Grit means more than glamour.
The final lesson I learned during my time in Philadelphia is something I could have never learned in New York. While I love the glitter, the glamour, the fashion and the perfect bow I imagine is tied around New York, I love the "realness" of Philadelphia. Each time I go to New York, I come back feeling like it was a dream. The colors, the life, the motion -- it all amazes me. But in New York, I imagine it is very hard to find someone willing to talk about the struggles they went through to get to where they are; they'll simply tell you of all their accomplishments.
That isn't to say people in New York have it easy, or haven't struggled, but everything is supposed to be perfect, so when success is achieved, struggles are put out of mind.
In Philadelphia, struggles and failure are attributed to success. Whether it be from professors I've had or employers at internships, or even fellow classmates, I've heard of their struggles. Philadelphia isn't wrapped up in a bow and people go through some shitty experiences until they finally accomplish their goals. That may be the case in New York too. But in Philly, hardships and failures aren't swept under the rug when a person becomes successful -- they are used every day to help others who may be struggling.
Mistakes are encouraged in Philadelphia, because how can you learn anything without first making a few wrong turns along the way? Philadelphia has shown me it is not about living in a perfect world; it's about working through the hardships and the failures and the mistakes to create my own perfect world.
So this is my thank you to Philadelphia; my thank you to a city who has shaped and molded me. This is my thank you to a city that taught me there is more to life than glitter and glamour. This is my thank you to a city that so many people judge, but so few understand -- a thank you for helping me to understand. This is a thank you to a city that is so perfectly imperfect and one that will forever hold a place in my heart.
New York has always been my dream and my goal, and I think it always will be. But when it comes down to it, I don't think I would have ever been able to survive in New York without all the knowledge I've gained from my time in Philadelphia. After four years, though, I think I could find myself pretty happy staying in Philadelphia, having a cute little apartment or townhouse in Rittenhouse Square. Who says a girl can't have two dreams?
