It is that time of year again! The wedding bells are ringing and men are dropping to their knees and proposing. Wait, that is a year round thing. As I looked at my refrigerator full of invitations and my Facebook NewsFeed full of announcements, I noticed that multi-cultural marriages are far from the norm here in Provo.
Ethnically Caucasian students make up 83 percent of the BYU population. The chances for a Caucasian student get married to someone of a different ethnicity from themselves are fairly low, even if you served your mission in the most remote place on earth. We live in a society where racial bias and systematic problems contribute to our misconceptions about other cultures. Remember, less than 50 years ago racial marriages were still illegal in the United States.
Although that might not be a problem here at BYU, there may be some fears associated with dating someone that comes from a different culture from your own. Kind of like marrying a Utah Utes fan.
When the push comes to shove, the laws of attraction are super weird. You might not be attracted to someone that is not of your heritage. But if you are down to date someone who is not white, here are five tips to help you win over the next Native American beauty, K-Pop model, or tall dark and handsome man you might meet.
1. Don’t assume their ethnicity by how they look.
Calling a Samoan a Tongan, or calling a Korean a Chinese is a big no no. It is okay to ask them what their heritage is. Be direct. Don’t ask “Where are you from?” or “Where are your parents from?” Also, just because they are a certain ethnicity, doesn’t necessarily mean that they grew up in that culture.
2. An invitation to food is always a good thing.
Food is a very important part of our cultures. An invitation to Hot Pot, CrockPot, cook in any pot, or to eat out is a sign that they really like you. Food is an every date activity and necessity.
3. Learn their lingo and their mannerisms.
Many of them will speak different languages and have different mannerisms. They might use unfamiliar words or phrases in their everyday language. They also might take off their shoes before entering your apartment. A hug and kiss on the cheek might be a common greeting and good-bye. If they do it others, don’t get jealous! It might take some adjustment, but getting to know someone always is. Just enjoy the learning experience.
4.Family is super important.
Like many Caucasian cultures, children that grow up in minority cultures consider family a super important part of who they are. They often come from multi-generational families, where grandparents, parents, aunties, uncles, and/or cousins all live under one roof. When they say, Dwayne the Rock Johnson is their cousin, it is okay to believe them. If they let you meet their family, it always a good thing.
5.Diversify your children’s gene pool.
If you do get past the point of dating and courtship, and you start considering marriage, it is okay to think of the beautiful multi-cultural babies you will have. Also, giving your children a higher chance of getting a scholarship isn’t a bad thing either.
