As everyone is collectively recovering from holiday hangovers, the time has come to reflect upon the events that have transpired, particularly upon a specific, festive day. Presumably, a large number of families engaged in Christmas activities on the twenty-fifth, and as masses of people gather together, it is inevitable that certain circumstances will arise as the hours pass. While most families have their own customs for this special occasion, there are a few happenings that appear to make themselves evident across the board, those of which have been listed below. Because no holiday is complete without hilarity and obvious moments of discomfort.
5. Someone says something remarkably offensive.
Whether it be dropping the n-word (seriously, what century is this?) or subtly insinuating that women are, apparently, not deserving of basic, fundamental rights to their bodies (because, you know, heaven forbid), somebody is bound to say something within the politically incorrect spectrum because collections of various men and women will always contain differing stances on those tough subjects that rear their heads after a few too many drinks. Of course, this then led to much ruckus until the designated mediators of the family stepped in, offering statements of peace and promises of refilled glasses.
4. You received socks or underwear.
Listen, you need them. It may seem a little ridiculous at the moment, but seriously, those can get a little expensive, and so what if they're a little silly? Now you've got some SpongeBob boxers or stripped socks to wear, and honestly, that's a helluva lot more exciting than your boring, single color clothing items.
3. You ate weigh too much.
And it wasn't just you, either. Naturally, this depends on where your threshold of discomfort lies, as many feel too full after having eaten three cookies, whereas people like me can continue shoveling well after ten (can being the operative word, and not should). I didn't even bother to check the statistics on how many calories are consumed on Christmas Day, but if we look deep into our heart of hearts, we will find that yeah, we probably surpassed whatever that stat is by at least 1,000.
2. Something gets broken.
Whether it be a piece of dish wear (bonus points if it's glass) or one of the little cousin's new toys, something will end up broken because everyone is in such a rush and everything absolutely has to be done right now. It's almost as if Christmas isn't complete unless someone drops the broccoli casserole dish or somebody places something that isn't microwavable safe in that machine, resulting in an inevitable meltdown. But don't worry. It'll be hilarious in about a year, just in time for you to break something else.
1. You passed the hell out when you got home.
I mean, you've just seen basically one million people, so it's time to sleep. You didn't bother to take your makeup off because honestly, you just want to get into bed and be done with this day. The sheets had never felt so soft, and the mattress became a cloud beneath your exhausted body.
And then you remained fused to it for, like, the next twenty-four hours.
