In honor of National Eating Disorder Awareness Week, I thought I'd spread some of my own brand of body positivity. I, myself, have struggled with body image my whole life and have known way too many strong females (and males, although less common) who have demoted themselves to their waistline and bra size. So, in order to stop spreading negativity that leads to these warped ideals, we must come together as a society and recognize the language we use that is just not working.

So here are five things we should STOP saying about people's bodies.

1. "Oh my god, how are you insecure, you're so skinny!!"

Now, while this may seem harmless, and in fact, is said for the most part in an effort to support the person we're saying it to, it can have very negative effects that most are completely unaware of. When you say this to someone suffering from an eating disorder (may it be body dysmorphia, bulimia, anorexia, etc.), you're implying that their sense of beauty and sense of self should come from their weight. A person suffering from an eating disorder who hears these comments is likely to equate her worth to her slim body and think, "This is what people are responding to, this is what makes me beautiful. I have to stay this way. I have to stay skinny," and end up wanting to lose more weight even though they may already be at a weight dangerous to their health.

Insecurity doesn't come from what you look like, it comes from your mental state. Most of the time, it's not completely rational or logical, but that doesn't make it invalid.

2. "You're not fat!"

This, again, is said with good intentions. But when we say, "You're not fat," we're implying fat is bad. Being "fat" does not define your worth or make you any less beautiful. Having fat on your body is good for you, and while it is always important to care about your health, the root of physical health is mental health. Yes, you should be healthy. Yes, you should do what is good for your body. No, that doesn't mean you have to have a flat stomach and nothing that jiggles. No, that doesn't mean you can't have a curvy body unique to you. Next time, when your friend looks in the mirror or pinches their stomach and says, "Ugh I'm getting so fat," respond with something like "You have curves and they're beautiful. But you're also so much more than your weight." If you feel bad about yourself go to the gym, paint a picture, eat good food, talk to strong women in your life. Get those endorphins pumping and immerse yourself in your substance, not a flimsy, superficial ideal.

3. "Ugh, I WISH I had your body."

Imagine hearing this if you're suffering from an eating disorder- if you're underweight and need to be focusing on your health. Not only does this reduce you to just your body, but it would probably also discourage you from gaining any weight- which could seriously damage your well being. While the person saying this may be trying to help, all it does is maintain that ideal, maintain that mentality. That's not to say this person's body isn't beautiful, but because of these words, they might think that this is the only way they can be beautiful.

4. "I just ate (insert any food here). I CANNOT be seen in a bikini right now."

I remember my friend in high school telling me one day, "Bikinis are just not flattering on some people. Like, I'm all for body positivity, but doesn't that entail knowing your figure and wearing things that flatter you? Bikinis just don't look good on some people."

You are not the one to decide what is and isn't flattering on another person. If someone wants to wear a bikini, whether they be 80 pounds or 300 pounds, whether they ate carrot sticks for dinner or just had 3 Big Macs before deciding to go for a little swim- YOU DON'T DECIDE WHETHER OR NOT ITS "OK." You are not the deciding factor on what is and isn't appropriate. People should wear what they're comfortable in and what makes them feel good, and as long as that isn't a dress made of long spikes that will impale you if you get too close, then LEAVE THEM ALONE. LET THEM BE. It is THEIR life and body!

5. "That's not flattering for your body type."

We've all heard the body classifications in our lifetime. You have a "pear" shape, an "apple" bottom, an "hourglass" figure. But, our bodies are a lot more complicated than fruits and trinkets my friends, and, unfortunately, we live in a world where the fashion industry caters to a very specific body type. So, you can't expect us all to find clothes that are absolutely MADE for us, and neither should you be the deciding factor on what is MADE for who. We decide for ourselves what is flattering and what makes us comfortable. Period. End of discussion.

All of these things are easier said than done, and I know it's hard to rewire our brains after growing up in a society obsessed with "perfect" bodies. I have to constantly remind myself of my worth, in a mantra very close to the one from "The Help-"

SOFIA- "You is kind. You is smart. You is important."

And where does that beauty come from? It comes from my aura, my light, the presence and energy that I exude when I'm happy. Bodies are vehicles for the soul, and they can be powerful tools of expression- but not when we reduce them to purely visual and sexual objects.

So, next time you're trying to support a friend, think to yourself, "Is what I'm saying reducing this person to their body?" "How would I feel if this was said to me?" "Am I thinking about their health or their image?"

It might just change someone's perspective and help end a cycle that's been limiting women and girls for ages.