You know what sucks? College long distance relationships. Want to know what sucks even more? When you're in one. Seriously though, it's like a double-edged sword: there's some good that comes out of it and then there's the bad. We'll be focusing on the bad.
1. Keeping in Touch Is a Pain in the Butt!
Yeah, you read that right. It's all fine and dandy when you're first starting out and talking every day. Then it devolves into a complete nightmare. When the semester starts, it's like second nature. You're all lovey dovey to each other, conversing for an unnatural number of hours, telling each other about your day and so on, thinking it'll always be that way. Wrong!
Newsflash: you're on one campus and your significant other is in another. It won't be that easy. Now, it might be alright at first, but trust me, it won't be that way for very long. Sooner or later, life will get in the way. Something will come up on your schedule, or theirs, that'll get in the way of your daily Skype or phone routine and all of a sudden, the whole rest of your day goes up in smoke and so does your mood.
Say you get into a fraternity or sorority that has super late hours, or you have a club meeting to get to and won't be back in time. The level of stress just continues to rise as your commitments get in the way. And these interruptions aren't limited to just one day... oh no! Most times, it's consistent, which just adds unnecessary complication and strain on the relationship as a whole.
2. Frustration
Usually caused by a lack of communication, long distance couples tend to get extremely frustrated at times with either their situations or themselves. And it's understandable! You have your college life and they have theirs. It would be wrong to try to deprive each other of that. But even though this is the case, it's still incredibly frustrating.
This is a dangerous state of mind, because if handled improperly, it can create unwanted tension between the two parties and can lead to many arguments that will cause even more distance to develop. The worst thing about it is the fact that there's no real way to avoid this stage. The fact that you miss the person, and they miss you, and you can't be with them is more than enough to put someone on edge. You just need to be careful about how far you let this frustration show. If you're visibly frustrated at your partner all the time, always verbalizing it, you'll not only make your significant other upset, you'll also be inadvertently pushing them away.
3. You Miss Them
Speaking of missing someone, this portion is easily the hardest part of a long distance relationship. Whoever said that distance makes the heart grow fonder was definitely onto something. You not only miss them, you yearn for them, you want to be in their presence so badly, it feels like your heart is trying to burrow its way out of your chest. Skype and phone calls just aren't enough anymore and you want to see them as soon as possible.
The one benefit of this is that when you finally do see your person, all of the emotion, excitement and yearning that has been stored within you since the whole long distance thing started comes gushing out in this massive maelstrom of gumdrops and roses and can't be controlled. Thankfully, your partner will have just enough room in their hearts to take it all in.
4. Doubt Is Inevitable
This isn't the most dangerous of the things, but it's definitely one of the most common. You and your partner are on opposite ends of the spectrum and are only able to communicate if your schedules are miraculously able to line up. Long story short, you don't know what they're doing in the meantime. They could be flirting with someone they met at a party, class or club for all you know, or already dating someone else. Sure, you trust them and they trust you, but there'll always be that tiny part of you, the "what-if" part, that can overturn any trust you might have initially possessed. This is another one of those things that you can't really help. One way or another, doubt will come into your mind, be it by friends, family, your own mind or even your partner at times. The most you can do in this situation is push these thoughts as far back as you can and hope for the best.
5. You Start to Wonder if It's Even Worth It
Let me give you an example. You've been in this for a long while now and nothing seems to be going right anymore. You've been in nonstop arguments with your significant other in nearly every conversation and have started to dread it whenever your phone rings and you actually consider letting it ring. You're absolutely miserable, and it's starting to show physically. You aren't eating as much as you should, you're losing more weight than you should, sleep is a distant memory, you're always shut away in your dorm room and have no desire to change this.
This is the absolute worst-case scenario in a long distance college relationship. If you're ever in this situation, you have only two options: stick it out, or call it quits before things get even worse. These are the options, but there's much more to it than that--there's no guarantee that your partner will agree with what you decide. If both of you want to stake it out, then fine, you can try to work it out and gradually bring the relationship to a better place. The same principle applies if you're both deciding to go your separate ways.
But if one of you wants to leave while the other wants to stay, a great emotional rift emerges that might not be able to be fixed. If it's you that wants to leave, you'll have to explain why you made this decision and then try to get them to accept it. And even when they do, the pain never really goes away. I'm not just talking about them, though. You feel this pain too. They'll be devastated by your decision, and you'll be heartbroken at the fact that your decision made them that way. It'll suck if you ever have the misfortune of going through this, but it's a necessary evil that needs to be faced and dealt with when or if it arises.
There's no way to sugarcoat this. Long-distance is NOT easy, and I commend those that are able to stick with it and make it work. In college, it's a different story. You're constantly surrounded by people that will test your loyalty, and your mindset changes the longer you're there. It puts all kinds of stress on everyone involved and can sometimes be too much. The key is to stay strong, talk it out with your partner if you can and hope that things will go well from there.
