Oh my God, you guys would, like, not believe the day I just had.
First, Frankie told me that I had to paint the cooler by myself for semi-formal, and then Sally told me that she told Krista that she thought Sarah and Julia thought that I wasn't on board with painting the letters pink and lavender, but I told those s*uts after Comm 201 that if they didn't spend so much time at the Beta Kappa house, then maybe they would actually show up to chapter and vote on things every now and then.
And then, like, I left my favorite bag at Bethenny's house, and that had all of my flash cards in it and I'm not even joking
I. CAN'T. EVEN. study for that test coming up without them because Jessica told me that she got like a 40 on it, and I really need this A, like, so bad because if I don't get it then Daddy says I can't have the Range Rover this summer, and it's so not fair, but like, whatever, I can just tell his girlfriend that he farts on her while she's sleeping and she's so dumb she'll believe it and make him give me the keys.
1. My sisters are perfect angels.
My sisters are like the greatest human beings on the planet, and they have sacrificed so much to the sisterhood, and they are so smart and beautiful and strong and sexy and talented. If you say anything that's not positive about them, I swear to God that I will make sure all the girls on this campus think you're a misogynistic pervert. I guess Angela is pretty trashy, plus she totally wanted the theme for our mixer to be "Bowties and Knee Highs," like what does that even mean.
2. My sisters are perfect angels except for Angela.
Ugh whatever, Angela.
3. My Little is literally the second coming.
Like, honestly, I can't believe the other sisters didn't know that Lizzie is a perfect human being. I mean, when she accepted her invitation to rush and then I saw her at movie night, I was like OMG, that's the son of God walking among us, and Brittany was all like, "Uh no, that's Lizzie. She's a transfer," and I was all like, "Nobody asked you, Brittany." My Little has actually never done anything mean ever, so if you want to be a hater, then go ahead because she is the sweetest human being that you will ever meet, and I love her more than my family (but like, not more than my Greek family, duh).
4. Just because I'm in a sorority doesn't mean I'm stupid.
In reality, I consider myself to be quite articulate when it comes to expressing my ideologies and opinions regarding not only Greek life but politics, both historical and contemporary; the socio-economic climate that exists in part to documents similar to and including the TPP; and topics including but not limited to modern art, race relations, and the philosophical issues surrounding data encryption and access by governments domestic and abroad. It is truly unfortunate that for a majority of my conversations, I will never receive the same attention and thought that I provide for your observations and digressions. In fact, you probably read all of my above points as, I don’t know, vaguely coherent run-on sentences with placed emphasis on stereotypical phrases or words. We’re not all like that, you know.
5. I never "bought my friends."
I am so sick and tired of people saying that I bought my friends. Like, do you even do Greek life? I didn't think so, so what do you even know about it? What gives you the right to even say anything? I'll have you know that my $300 a semester is spent to help, I don't know, our philanthropy, and yeah, maybe some of it goes towards our formal, but we can't have our formal not on a yacht -- and yeah, I have to pay for a new dress every year that I can't wear any other time, but so what? Is it such a crime to want to feel pretty twice a year? Like, what do you even care -- it's my money, not yours.
