Listen up boys!

I was raised for most of my life by a strong, single mother who taught me that it is important to care for others, but first we must be able to take care of ourselves. If you know me, you know I pride myself in being independent, but to some people my independence is misinterpreted as rude or selfish. Especially when it comes to dating, independent girls can be hard to read and even harder to keep up with. We independent girls need to stick together, and there are a few things we need you, specifically the male population, to understand about us:

1. We will always put ourselves first.

This may sounds selfish, but we don’t mean it that way! We just mean that we aren’t going to be distracted from our goals, interests, and way of life to adapt to anyone else. If you don’t fit into our plans, we don’t need you. And we’re certainly not going to make room… we have a whole world to conquer!

2. We value our alone time.

After a long day, we’d much rather have time alone to unwind than a night out on the town. Chances are we’ll reach out to you when we’re ready, but in the meantime don’t try to find us. We’re not playing hard to get; we actually just need some space.

3. We can (and want to) open our own doors.

Your acts of chivalry can make us feel awkward and inferior. We don’t want you to open the door for us or carry our bags (although we will open the door for you). We have made it on our own before and we can make it on our own now. There’s a chance that we’ll ask for help if we need it, but if we don’t ask, please don’t offer.

4. We are used to taking care of ourselves.

We like doing things on our own, and we don't want you to come in and take over. We want you to respect our ways and routines by letting us do them ourselves.

5. We need to go on some adventures alone.

Travel buddies are great, but certain journeys don’t have an opening for company. If we don’t ask you to come with us, we don’t want you to be there. That doesn’t mean we don’t like spending time with you, it just mean that we have other plans right now.

Don’t worry, boys...

When we want to see you we will make it a point to find you. But unlike those who dream of finding true love, we dream of discovering ourselves and the world around us. We like our space, we like our distance, and we like our privacy. Please don’t mistake our independent nature as unwelcoming, though. We love spending time with others, we just need you to know that we are as free as the birds in the sky or the fish in the sea, and that isn’t changing for anyone.