Until recently, I had stayed single for a little over a year. I had been in a long-term relationship that ended horribly, not because my ex was horrible, but because our relationship was horrible. It was unhealthy and toxic, to say the least. I had always dreamed of being in a perfect relationship where my boyfriend treated me like a princess, paid for everything and did everything I wanted.

There are several reasons this is unrealistic, but the main one is because I'm so incredibly independent. I'm not saying I am a perfect adult who can pay her own bills and clean her house perfectly because that is far from who I am. Rather than that, I am independent in the sense I want to be responsible for my own happiness. If I want something, I am going to get it through my own skill and perseverance, not because a guy did it for me.

Here are a few things that girls like me -- strong, independent women -- know to be true when they get in a relationship:

1. You get weird looks when you pay.

Whenever my boyfriend and I go out to eat and I hand the waiter my credit card, I always get these weird looks. I know exactly what they are for, too, "Why is she paying and not him?" Every time I just want to look at them and say, "I'm paying because I'm independent and I want to cut my boyfriend's wallet some slack every once in a while."

2. You don't have to rely on him for your happiness.

I know what you could be thinking, but yes my boyfriend makes me very happy. Being around him makes me incredibly happy and giggly like I'm a school girl, but my life doesn't stop when I'm not with him. I can go on living a normal life and get satisfaction out of the other things that I'm good at, like school work and hanging out with friends.

3. You can be distant in tough situations.

I absolutely hate having to rely on my boyfriend when I'm going through something tough. I want to know I can handle hardships without him and that I can survive on my own if something were to ever happen. This can be a bad thing, though. I start feeling bad when I do have to rely on him for certain things or I go to him with my problems. Ladies, if you are in a healthy relationship, your boyfriend should never have an issue with you confiding in him or talking about your problems.

4. Love doesn't always come naturally.

I had to get used to the whole touchy-feely stuff. Holding hands in public, kissing in front of other people, or cuddling. Before my current relationship, I hated being touched. I didn't want someone's arm around me when we were walking or holding hands. It just got tiresome after a while and don't even think about touching me when I'm sleeping. As time went on in my relationship, I understand that physical touch can be important, not always publicly, but that's a very important part of making your partner feel loved. Although it may not come naturally, it is still important.

5. You make him a part of your world, rather than being in each other's worlds.

I am extremely guilty of making plans for us and not telling him. I always assume he doesn't have a life other than me, so he should be able to do whatever I want to do. I often forget he has a schedule, just like I do, and they are not always going to match up. So even if it's just letting him plan one thing we do a month, I often try to remind him that his world matters, too.

Although not all of these are good and bad, sometimes you have to put aside your pride and realize that a relationship is between two people. It's OK to allow yourself some leniency and let him do the planning for once.