I've always been the type of person who is involved in many different activities and friend groups. I have a few friends from high school, a boyfriend, friends from church, friends from my classes, random friends I have stumbled upon at some point, all the while being involved in different organizations or groups from church to my sorority. I am all over the place. I wouldn't say this is uncommon with college students. We all are more willing to meet new people each new semester, but also have old relationships, school and work to focus on, so how can we find the balance in all the chaos that is college life?
1. Make time for yourself first
If I don't take time for myself--meaning doing something I enjoy, or doing it as an outlet--I think I would lose my mind. Sometimes for me this means I have to go to the gym, or make time to paint, but the point is if I didn't make myself happy first, how could I make others around me happy? It can be mentally exhausting always feeling like you are responsible for maintaining all of these relationships and keeping school and work a priority, but it's impossible for any of these things to be beneficial for you if you don't take care of yourself first. Take a bath, read a book, go on a hike, whatever you enjoy, go do.
2. Keep school and work a top priority
I know that may seem obvious, but sometimes this means you will have to say no. One easy way I make sure my schoolwork is finished before I make plans with any of my friends is keeping a planner with absolutely everything in it. This means all due dates, all appointments, my work schedule, mandatory sorority events, family events, EVERYTHING is in my planner. I am that freak that color codes it all, but this helps me keep my priorities straight, knowing that work and school are first above all else. Whatever works best for you, make sure work and school come first, and it is okay to say no to going out if you have to, you'll have many more opportunities to go out if you keep up on your schoolwork and don't get behind.
3. Make time for those that matter most
It may seem odd when I put it that way, but we all know that all of your groups of friends aren't the most important. Relationships are made to be 50/50 when it comes to effort, so in the midst of your already busy schedule, making time for those who don't make time for you might not be beneficial. I had to identify what friendships were most beneficial for myself and my happiness and although this wasn't easy, there were a few people that slowly drifted out of my life, which I think is OK. Friendships should be beneficial to everyone involved, so be sure to make time for the ones that matter most to you, because generally the feeling is mutual and your friendship may be able to grow even more.
4. Keep friendships a priority, even when you're in a romantic relationship
This is something I learned the hard way and I know I'm not the only one. Being in a romantic relationship should not be the end of other friendships, and ultimately would lead to an unhealthy relationship if you don't make time for other friends, as well. It is very important to me that I make time for my friends, away from my boyfriend, having gone through an unhealthy relationship before after pushing all my friends away. I would never want to go through that again and I would never wish it upon anyone else. An easy way for me to find this balance is make sure at least one day or night of the weekend is spent with my friends and not solely my boyfriend. Sometimes it's easier to hang out with my boyfriend and friends at the same time when I don't have much time to hang out due to work and school, but I still think I am doing a better job at keeping my friends around, which has made for better friendships as well as a better relationship.
5. Switch it up each weekend
I have noticed that it has become easier to maintain friendships from different friend groups when I somewhat switch off what group I hang out with each weekend. If I feel like I haven't seen someone in a while that I really want to, I will usually reach out and make it a priority to hang out with them ASAP. The same thing happens when I feel like I've disregarded other friends because I have gotten caught up in one friend group, I usually reach out to someone I haven't been doing well at making time for. Having friends from different aspects and areas of your life is apart of college and it is difficult to find time for everyone. So make sure to only keep those around who also want to keep you around, and that might not be easy to think about, but it will make time for more healthy relationships to blossom and prevent detrimental friendships.
There's no easy answer to find a balance between a social life, school, and work, but those are a few things to keep in mind when planning your weeks. I know everyone has a different way of doing things, but if you are struggling finding a balance, I encourage you try things a little differently. I can definitely say I am not perfect at this, no one is, but I do know that I have improved over time by keeping these five things in mind.
