To the first boy who broke my heart,

You were the first and only, thus far. I cried. A lot. For what felt like years in a span of a few months. The immediate pain as you told me you didn't want to see me anymore was so emotionally intense that it began to physically hurt.

I waited in hopes that you would apologize for treating me the way that you did, but I have come to a realization that it will never happen. It's taken some time, but I am now fully healed from the hurt that I felt from you. And I thank you for breaking my heart.

How strange does that sound? I'm actually grateful that he broke my heart. Through this devastating time of my life, I transformed into a completely different person. Here are some key values that I learned after my heartbreak:

1) You realized your self worth. Prior to him, I did not think any guy could ever be really attracted to me. So I settled because I thought that he was the best I could have; I thought he cared about me, but he was just using me. Although everything felt so right when we were together, it was in the moments when I was alone that I realized how badly I was treated. You could have everyone in the world tell you how you deserve more than the person that you're with, but it does not matter until you realize it for yourself. You see how dating someone is not a one way street. It involves two individuals and you definitely have a say in whether or not you want to associate yourself with this person any longer. You are finally able to see how you don't have to leave the ball in someone else's court when they're playing foolish games. Being single and joyful is so much better than being miserably while wrapped around someone else's finger.

2) You fall in love with yourself. This may sound narcissistic, but hear me out. In our society, when the media continually dictates the standard of beauty that makes others feel inadequate, I find it vital to truly love who you are. You start to see all the beautiful aspects to who you are as a person and you are able to embrace both the pros and cons to your life. You start laughing the way that you used to and realize how charismatic you are. You'll find yourself smiling about absolutely nothing other than the fact of what a fabulous person you are.

3) You set your standards higher than ever before. You will look at your track record of the people you've dated and see why/how things did not work in your relationship. There are going to be more specific things you look for that go beyond external features that reach your soul. You will search for someone who not only finds you beautiful, but also loves the person you are. There will be other people that try to come and sweep you off your feet with their charm, but you will see past their façades and ask what their intentions are. You will realize that you're a hot ticket item that has a priceless value, not a carbon copy of any kind to be owned by anyone.

4) You will forgive the person that hurt you and be happy you're not with them. Without that heartbreak, I do not think I would be the person that I am today. In losing him as a romantic figure and friend, I found myself. I saw how he had his own issues as well that attributed to how he treated me and I gave him grace for that. I'm no saying that the fact that he hurt me is applaudable, but what I am saying is that I am going to forgive him because it takes more work and energy to harbor bitterness towards him. You will see how often times when you feel rejection, it's all happening for a reason. Be happy that you're not wasting more time with someone who does not appreciate you the way that you should. In the beginning of the healing period, you will find yourself question a lot of "what if's," but later on, you will not romanticize the past for more than what it was. You will see things for how they were and accept that there are better things happening now and more to come in the future.

5) You find value and validity in who you are. You stop finding value in the idea of having a relationship. You realize that a relationship is not the answer when you have self-esteem issues with who you are. You focus on making sure that all the other aspects of your life are filled with contentment. You don't try to fill the voids with meaningless things, but rather, you learn to find wholeness in yourself. You start becoming so comfortable with who you are that when you accidentally do something embarrassing, it doesn't even matter because you're so secure in yourself. You start to form the identity of who are you are and start encouraging others to do the same. The journey of loving yourself and finding who you are is not an instant type of thing. It's a long road that will have many hurdles and obstacles, but I promise you, it is worth it.