I hate social situations, especially when there is a lot of people that I don't know. I always feel so uncomfortable and it's made my college and adult experience interesting so far. Oh how I miss the days where my mom did everything for me (she still does some things which I'm super thankful for.) If you don't know what it's like to be socially awkward, here are five struggles that I constantly face.

1. Partying

This is a big struggle to a college students. People always put pressure on you to fully experience your college experience and it's understood that part of that experience is the party scene. Going to a small school located in the middle of nowhere, while my college tries to keep us busy, there are plenty of weekends where nothing is happening and parties are the events that fuel the campus. I didn't want to be that lame person who stays in their room all day and doesn't take chances, but it's just not my thing. If there are people at the party I know, I cling to them like lint. I am so bad at socializing and I feel so overwhelmed by all the people.

2. Calling people on the phone

I remember when I was younger, i refused to talk to people on the phone. I was/am really shy, and I hate talking to people I don't know. I think part of the reason was/is because I worry a lot about what other people think of me. I was pretty much forced to start answering and making phone calls, which is good, but still, if I can avoid verbal contact, I will. Texting is the best invention in the world.

3. Participating in class

One thing I hate is that for any class you take, participation is usually a decent portion of your grade. When professors ask questions, I am that person who avoids eye contact in the hope they don't call on me. I have an irrational fear of sounding stupid or being wrong that I have never gotten over. Most of my professors seemed to have learned that I don't really like to talk but that doesn't mean I'm not paying attention, which is good I guess, although some of my professors will call on me specifically and my heart usually feels like it's running a marathon.

4. Going to campus events

I also really hate going to campus events, especially ones that have the possibility of audience participation. A couple of weeks ago I went to a magic show and I got called up to help with a trick and I sounded like a blabbering fish. It was awful. I don't know how to talk to people. Dances are even worse because there are so many people, loud music, and it's supper hot. I force myself to go to events because most of the time I have fun but the little voice in my head like to make me all anxious.

5. Trying to be a functioning human

Whether it's trying to flirt with guys, talking to receptionists, or talking to people in general I fail at all of these. I am usually dying on the inside though on the outside I might look cool. When I have to talk to receptionists, I usually practice the conversation in my head, the same for when I want to try to flirt with a guy (I think out of all these things I fail the most at this.) I know that in order to be a functioning human I need to talk to people, but still, gross.

While I have improved a lot and can now hold a conversation with others who I may not know and I no longer want to cry when I need to answer the phone, I still struggle a lot with how others might perceive me. I have had to learn to step out of my comfort zone which has also helped a lot with learning how to manage being a socially awkward person. Even still, I hate being socially awkward and I don't think it's something I will ever completely get over, but it's made me the person I am so I guess it can't be too bad.