Since I was a little girl, I have been labeled as the quiet one. This seems to be the first quality that people notice about me. I am always being told that I should talk more or speak my mind… or my favorite, “Speak up for yourself.” All of my life I have had to deal with people placing a stereotype on me as an extreme introvert. For the longest time, this has made me angry. After all, being quiet is not a bad quality to have, but for some reason, people have been trying to change about me. But why? Why should I become someone who I am not?
It seems that society has placed stereotypes for both introverts and extroverts, but society is in favor of the extroverts. Why is this? Here are some of the stereotypes that I have dealt with for most of my life.
- Introverts can’t keep a conversation. This is partially true in certain circumstances. I am terrible at keeping a conversation going when I am the one who has to keep thinking of things to talk about. Often times, I become unsure of myself because I’m so afraid of what the other person is thinking of me. I’m so afraid that I’m going to say something stupid that I remain silent. However, when others set me at ease and I begin to feel comfortable, then I can become very talkative. Still, I also feel that being a good listener is important and so often times I like to be the listener. But remember that just because a person is silent doesn’t mean that he or she doesn’t have something to say.
- Introverts are rude. I think that this is something that all introverts have been called at one time. Because we are quiet, we are thought of as rude. When I was younger, my parents often told me that I was being rude to people who tried to make conversation with me. In reality, I was so afraid to speak to strangers that I literally could not think of something to say. Over time, I’ve grown out of this because I do not want to come across as rude. Still, I find it hard to speak to people that I am not well acquainted with. It’s a constant struggle. If you find that a person is having trouble conversing with you, don’t be so quick to label them as rude.
- Introverts always want to be alone. As an introvert, I find that I need my alone time in order to recharge. When I am constantly around other people, I begin to feel extremely drained. I crave my alone time. Walking in nature or finding a quiet nook to curl up and read a good book are places for me to escape. Even though I need my alone time, this does not mean that I don’t enjoy being with people. When I am always alone I begin to feel isolated. Human beings were not created to live alone. God made us to be relational, whether we have an introverted or extroverted personality.
- Introverts are too uptight. I’ve often been told that I need to loosen up and “let my hair down.” I can be very cautious when I am in circumstances where I do not feel comfortable. I’ve observed others who are considered “the quiet ones” at parties where they find a wall to lean against, or hang around the food and nibble. (That’s where you can find me!) It’s hard not to appear like an uptight person when you feel awkward. All of your movements become robotic. So, rather than calling introverts “uptight,” help them to feel more comfortable and be friendly. Introverts can become just as crazy and fun as extroverts when they feel comfortable.
- Introverts can fix themselves to become extroverts. This statement really aggravates me, but I have heard it before. I have been told that I need to change my personality because it is wrong. It is a bad thing to be quiet. It is socially wrong to be shy. I think that this is unfair and untrue. Introverts are allowed to be themselves, the same as extroverts. One personality is not better than the other. They are simply different. Instead of looking at these differences as a bad thing, learn to accept and love others. It may sound cliché, but it still remains true, that if everyone had the same personality we would live in a very dull world.
As an introvert, I look at these stereotypes as not only offensive, but untrue. I am glad that God gave me an introverted personality and I accept who I am. There should be no question as to which personality type is better because God created them all for a purpose. It is our responsibility to love and accept all types of people with different personalities.
