I am not a shy person. Just because I don’t like small talk or filling up empty space with words doesn't mean that I’m snobby. Just because I don’t feel completely comfortable talking to a stranger doesn’t mean that I don’t like people or that I’m not friendly. And just because I don’t talk a lot doesn’t mean that I don’t want to talk to you. I’m not being rude, and I promise that I don’t think that I’m better than you. I actually do like to talk but just not all the time.
I have found that being extroverted is expected and being loud is normal. I am neither of those things because I am an introvert. I’m not shy, I’m not quiet, and not I'm not scared of people. For some reason or another, being introverted is weird. Not liking to talk 24/7 is considered abnormal. I have people constantly asking me if I’m okay or if something is wrong just because I’d rather sit and listen to a conversation than interject my opinion all the time. I like to listen and observe and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Now I’m not saying that being extroverted is a bad thing because it isn’t. Introverts need extroverts to pull them out of their shells and get them to actually interact with other humans because we have a tendency to spend way too much time by ourselves getting stuck in our own heads. What’s important to understand though is we don’t like to spend time by ourselves because we don’t like you, but because we need to have time to recharge. Extroverts recharge off people by being around other people while introverts get their energy by being alone. Neither is weird, they are just different.
I honestly really admire extroverted people. I’ll sit in class waiting for the teacher to call on me playing out my answer in my head like a scene in a movie. I watch the extroverts prattle off a completely coherent answer on the spot while I fumble over my words. Even when I plan what I’m going to say, it never comes out right. Extroverts can talk so easily to people, and I just can’t do that. Sometimes even when I’m with people I know, I’m coaching myself in my head trying to get myself to say something. I know it’s not a big deal to say a friend to scoot her chair over or if I can have the last brownie, but I overthink things and make them a bigger deal than they actually are.
That being said, I really do love being an introvert. I love time by myself. My favorite company is my own and often times my favorite sound is silence. I loved being wrapped up in the quiet. That’s one thing extroverts can learn from introverts; to be comfortable with the silence. To have your favorite company be your own. To be okay with sitting back in a conversation and really listening and observing the people around you rather than sharing your opinion.
The point of this piece isn’t to rag on extroverts, but to remind people that being quiet isn’t weird. I was made fun of all the time when I was younger for being shy, so now I really hate it when people call me that. There is now a negative connotation around that word for me. Not only does it make me feel like there is something wrong with me because I’m not constantly talking, but it also makes me feel like I haven’t grown. Introverts and extroverts can learn from each other, and one of the first things anyone can learn is that just because someone is quiet doesn't mean that they're shy. Instead of assuming, just ask.
