Now I'm pretty sure that basically everyone has heard about the recent clown sightings and clown attacks. Personally I don't have issues with clowns but when it comes to my life, we've got a problem. These recent clowns have been spotted in two dozen states. Apparently they are luring children and adults into the woods to potentially murder them. A 16 year old boy was actually stabbed to death because of these clown masks. People seem to think that dressing up like a clown is funny but it can really get them killed. So I've put together 5 survival tips against the recent clown attacks to help ease everyone's anxiety about the situation.
1. Pack Your Sh*t and Leave!
The minute I hear the word clown, I'm packing my sh*t and getting the hell out of there. I don't mess around when it comes to my life. You got me f#cked up if you think I'm going to stay in an area that has clowns out trying to kill people. Especially when these clowns are just looking to evoke fear. I feel like threatening a person's well being is not the way to make yourself feel important and these clowns are just looking for attention.
2. Grab Every Weapon You Possibly Can.
If you can't leave, grab some weapons of your choice. Now I normally don't encourage violence but in this situation, I say don't hold back! Protect your life at all costs. You've seen horror movies. Those movies teach you what not to do so keep that in mind.
3. Lock Up All The Entrances.
Hide ya kids, hide ya wives, and hide ya husbands cause these clowns are out here trying to kill everybody in the woods. This is no laughing matter. If you live upstate or in the small towns that these clowns have been spotted, I suggest you upgrade the security in your home. Food for thought.
4. Cry.
Sometimes the best thing to do in situations like these is cry. It may not help the situation but tell me you don't feel better after a good cry. If you never feel better after a good cry, then something is wrong with you.
5. Just Let Them Take You.
Now if you're a college student your best bet is to just let the clowns take you. I mean think about it. We get a billion assignments a day. Add on the crazy exams and the stress that we go through and you'll probably beg those clowns to take you. But then again that takes away from the fear that they feed on so they might just leave you alone. I know this one wasn't really a survival tip but you've got to admit that I make a valid point here.
But on a more serious note, everyone be safe out there and if you see a clown in your area, call the police.
