As a writer, it is important to create content that will be able to make a difference. Words have the power to affect people greatly, positively and negatively, and it's important to use that power for good. It is important to use that power to help people. So I'm writing this piece to help you, the audience, face a divisive issue affecting America today.

Here are ten self defense tips to help you fight clowns:

1. Forcefully YELL

Literally just scream as loud as you can. Clowns are known to scare easily and a fight could be avoided if you assert your dominance early on.

2. Take a defensive stance

If a fight can't be avoided, make sure you're prepared for combat. Nothing can screw you over like a weak stance.

3. Go for the eyes

Use your thumbs to apply pressure to both eyes. Eyes are one of the weakest parts of the body, especially in stupid clowns.

4. Kick the Knees

Knees are also a very weak part of the body. They only bend one way after all.

5. Rip the ear

Grip the clowns ear, dig your nails in and yank that sucker down. That'll show 'em!

6. Punch the Solar Plexus

Strike right above the naval and below the ribs. Clowns are not physically fit so make sure you hit them in that big, chunky gut.

7. Try to break the pinky

Breaking any bone would hurt a lot, so start with their itty bitty pinky. It shouldn't be too hard.

8. Try to break the nose

If you have confidence in your strength, why not just go for the nose? Make their blood run as red as their ugly nose.

9. Utilize the good ol' groin kick

Male or female clown, a good kick the the groin could get them right down to their knees.

10. Straight up choke them

Nothing wrong with a nice strangle, honestly.

Now go get those clowns!