Since I was young girl, I struggled with the overwhelming feeling of being overwhelmed, stressed out and anxious all the time. I would go through periods where it wasn't too bad and then life would throw a curve ball and I would strike out again, again and again. Without me even knowing it, it began to become a normal feeling. It was just how I felt. I was slowly drowning and everyone but me knew it.
Until one day I woke up and decided I hated this feeling — I hated pretending that everything was OK, that I had everything under control. I suddenly realized it was OK not to be OK. From that moment I took little steps to destress my life and slowly but surely it started to work! Here's what I did...
1. I cut people out and focused on myself.
From a young age, I was taught that it is easier for someone to bring you down then for you to pull them up. For a people-pleaser like myself, I can't help but try and make everyone happy. So much so that I start to become unhappy at the expense of their happiness. And the sad thing is, I didn't realize I was doing it until people around me started to notice my stress level.
As painful as I knew it would be, I had to let people go. I was putting in so much effort to make friendships work without getting any effort in return and it was draining. And to my surprise, I felt lighter and happier. Letting go of those toxic friendships allowed me to let go of a lot of drama that was bogging me down. I began focusing on myself and my needs rather than trying to fix others.
2. I made sleep a priority!
Because I was putting so much effort into trying to make everyone happy, I was out and about doing something every night, sometimes until late into the night. I was missing out on hours of sleep night after night. I never realized how important sleep was to my health (even thought everyone's been told a million times how important it is) until I deprived myself of it. That quickly changed when I let go of friendships. Even though I still had stress, worries and anxiety, when I woke up feeling rested, I woke up feeling confident and in charge. I woke up happy and ready to conquer whatever the day would bring!
3. Time management.
I struggle with this. I realized one of my main reason I would get so stressed out was because I felt like I had "no time," when, in reality, I had so much time, I just chosen to focus my time on things that didn't matter. I would procrastinate on homework, push aside things that needed to be done for work and wait until the last second to do it all and become so overwhelmed I would only put in half of my effort and say screw it.
But the more I practice good time management, the more I realize that I not only have more time but also that I don't feel the stress and anxiety.
4. I began to surround myself with friends who also made me a priority.
I had forgotten what it felt like to be made a priority. So when I started to surround myself again with people who cared, who wanted to make me a priority in their life, it filled up my cup. I now have a boyfriend who constantly supports and encourages me, friends who are there for me 24/7 and family who shows me unconditional love.
5. I got my faith back.
I had let go of something that had played such a big role in my life for so long that I became lost with out it. I was trying to control my own life and take on all the stress that life was throwing at me by myself when God was right there with me the whole time. When I started to let go and let God take over, my life started to transform again. It far from perfect but I know He has the perfect plan for my life. When I truly started to believe that God has a plan for my life, the stress began to melt away and most importantly stay away.
Now, don't get me wrong, I still struggle daily with stress, anxiety, and feeling overwhelmed but these simple things have truly helped my day to day happiness. I have a big heart and love making other happy but one thing my 20's has taught me is that its okay to put myself first sometimes.
