As an English major, I tend to find solace in silence and minding my own business, considering the fact the majority of the university seems to think I spend all of my time pouring over fanfiction and circle-jerking Shakespeare. Don't get me wrong, Much Ado About Nothing is my jam, but the idea of pigeonholing an entire field of study based upon incorrect preconceptions is so ridiculously backwards that I sometimes wonder about the century in which I am living. Compound this with the existence of general disregard and laziness that has slowly begun to plague students within this discipline and the campus and classroom environments become drastically strained. The resolution of this issue cannot occur within a single post's attempt at drawing attention to this shit storm of poor conduct, but I'll provide some of the golden highlights that have been trending toward commonplace status within Marshall University.

1. "Okay, but what can you actually do with that degree?"

Please ask me this. Please. Please allow me to layout my 10-year plan that includes graduate school and getting as little sleep as possible in order to produce pieces that are worthy of being published. Let me outline my ambitions and aspirations that reach further than Huntington, West Virginia. Want a list of the textbooks I've purchased for means of independent study that are not being sanctioned by the university? I can give you that list, and it's a doozy. When I'm on my laptop for hours on end, I'm not writing JohnLock fanfiction or watching Netflix; I'm tweaking a piece that I've been working on for over a year that has yet to reach the height of its potential because I'm never satisfied with anything below perfection.

English as a discipline is steadily dying, and this has led to the increase in remarkably atrocious writing within each and every field. When I've completed my undergraduate program and begin working to pay for graduate school, maybe I'll take the job for which you applied. Cohesive, capable writers are a dying breed, and companies appreciate those who can maneuver their way through the realm of composition. At least I don't end my sentences with prepositions.

2. "Did you read the chapters that were assigned?"

Are you kidding me? Students are in college, yet they manage to evade completing their homework, particularly those within the English department. Nothing fuels my hatred more than fellow students laughing about having skimmed novels, relied on SparkNotes, or simply refused to read the text altogether. It makes me want to take my copy of the piece and smack them in the face with its brunt force. If English and literature are not something about which a student is passionate, then my desire to guide them to the exit is extreme. This is specifically dominant within the English education classes, one in which I am currently enrolled. The idea of the future educators not bothering to care for vital texts within the field is mind-boggling; it causes me to continuously ask myself, "Well, why are you here then?"

The majority of the misconceptions about the major are born through students like these that brag about their lack of drive. If a student can pass a class without reading the content, how can the courses be defended as having been difficult? I would argue these classes are not challenging enough, that the grading and treatment of these types of students should harshen tenfold. College should not be treated as a breeze, while the rest of us are putting in double overtime to produce quality content. Additionally, to those who choose to ignore the texts their professors selected for their courses, know that you will never be able to appreciate the nuanced ways in which the world works due to your lack of perspective and overall disregard for that which has been written to illustrate the human condition.

3. "Sorry, guys, but I didn't read your stories."

This is exclusive to the creative writing department, wherein I am studying fiction, and someone literally said this to our class before our collective workshop. I'm not sure this person realized the amount of disrespect within this statement, but I definitely wasn't thrilled to read her piece in preparation for next week. I did, though; I'm a decent student in that way. I understand we are all remarkably busy with our college schedules; I have three jobs while managing to maintain my grade point average, so believe me, I get it. However, I refuse to feel empathy for someone who claims to have been occupied with larger matters of business, when in actuality, you were playing video games and writing the fanfiction for which our department catches so much flack. If the intent to be fully invested in a workshop is not present, please do not enroll in these courses. Yes, we can still be friends, but I would like to be in an environment wherein my content can be handled in a professional manner.

4. "Can I use a premise from fanfiction?"

Stop. Please, I'm begging you, stop this madness. I respect fanfiction as an artistic outlet for those who wish to better their writing, but the idea of utilizing someone else's universe within your own work and claiming it is plagiarism. I've heard the arguments for usage of writers' OCs extracted from fanfiction, and while I understand those characters do belong to the author, that universe and the entirety of that characters' chemical makeup is based upon something that does not belong to the writer. What is the harm in composing something original? I thought that was the entire point as to why we are majoring in this field of study. Prove to the audience you're a writer within your own right, not someone who rides on the coattails of someone else's success.

5. "Fiction doesn't matter. It's not real."

You, my friend, are in the top slot of my list of people who I would like to punch in the mouth. This type of statement is broader than that of novels, transcending into the realm of film and musicianship. Yes, songs can tell stories, too. I would imagine anyone would be hard pressed to think of some artistic medium that hasn't moved them to tears or induced the urge to dance. You want to tell me that doesn't matter? Feminists would argue that Kate Chopin's fiction piece The Awakening was incredibly important for the movement, along with other novels dating back to the likes of Charlotte Bronte and Jane Austen. How about Uncle Tom's Cabin? Beloved? And, dare I say it, The Notebook and The Fault in Our Stars? This concept of fiction being invalid as a means of portraying that which is realistic is impossible to defend. Fiction is literally composed to depict the ways in which humanity exists. Rendering it unworthy is essentially denying our true natures that have been illuminated through fictional pieces.

Moral of the story: Please, think before you speak. The instruction of fictional composition is something that benefits the populace just as often as other disciplines; read the countless testimonies of novels having been the reasons lives have been saved. Don't deny its power simply because you don't understand it.