I absolutely love my church family. They have rallied around me and my family on several occasions, as well as countless other families and individuals, I am very grateful that we were able to find such a loving church. All churches have their problems, of course, but I have noticed several that occur in every church I have ever attended.

These seemingly small details are what drive people away from any church, whether it be Christian, Catholic, Protestant, Baptist, etc. These churches are not pushing people away on purpose. On the contrary, churches are constantly trying new things to increase the size of their congregation, and my church in particular encourages all members to be warm and welcoming to newcomers. It is oftentimes not the initial environment that turns people off, however it is what happens after everyone has settled in for the service that these key issues arise.

1. The message is negative.

The pastor does not have to be shouting about hell fire and brimstone to convey a negative frequency to the congregation. Any statement that says a person cannot do something, should not do something, or is failing in any way is a negative statement. These statements seem harmless, but they plant a seed in each person's mind that grows into something much uglier. Other common negative statements that are more subtle are the following: "Everyone messes up," "Prayer is hard," "Following God isn't easy," "We all struggle" and "We're all sinners." These statements are not necessarily false, but they are not sending the message most pastors want their congregation to hear. Instead of feeling encouraged to right their wrongs, turn over a new leaf, or follow a new path, many leave the church feeling miserable. I have personally left service feeling incredibly guilty for all my sins, thinking I am an awful excuse for a human being. Pastors do not want their members to feel this way, but unfortunately, it tends to happen anyway.

2. The same concepts are taught over and over and over.

Have you ever felt guilty for spacing out during a sermon, constantly looking back at the clock, or drawing on your bulletin? I have, but there's a reason for this boredom. Many pastors preach the same messages every single year with updated Bible verses and new series titles. I realize that coming up with completely new material year after year is difficult, but for those of us who already understand that Bible story or this passage in Scripture, we want a more in-depth study of God's word. I have recently hit a wall with the learning I experience in church. I have been attending services my entire life, and I now want to learn more than just the surface details of Scripture. Sure, the many miracles Jesus perform are absolutely amazing and I love listening to these stories, but what do they mean for us? Yes, Jesus saves. I get that. What about the occasions after Jesus returns to heaven and His disciples continue to heal by His power? Uh, guys, this is a huge deal. Why? Because we are followers of Jesus, too, so why can't we heal others in Jesus' name? This glazing over of such important topics while focusing on others tends to encourage a Bible burnout.

3. There are countless problems that we as Christians encounter but very few solutions.

You sit in church, listening to the pastor explaining that what you are doing is a sin, and you think, "Wow, I'm really glad he's pointing this out so I can figure out what I should do to fix this." The message comes to a close, and you wait for the pastor to tell you how you can turn your life around. The music begins to play, and he explains that you need Jesus to walk the straight and narrow. Yes, this is true, but you already have a relationship with Him, so now what? No answer is given, and you walk away feeling guilty while still having no idea what steps you should take next. Repent, pray, turn your life around, come to Jesus, put your life in God's hands...these are all "solutions" that are given to us every Sunday morning. These are all good things to do, but how do you fix your depression? How do you stop your addiction? How do you overcome your fear and anxiety? Is prayer really the only answer, or is there something more? Providing a list of everything humanity does wrong is not only unhelpful, but it also leaves people wanting something churches oftentimes do not provide.

4. Any suggestions to better relationships with Christ that sound weird or too new age are immediately shot down and attributed to Eastern mysticism.

Have you ever tried meditation, seen awesome results, shared them with your church and were then told that you are going down a dangerous road? I'm not talking about worshiping other gods or sitting cross legged while chanting "Ooohhhmmm." Have you ever wondered if there was a different and more effective way to pray? Yes, there is, but this a separate issue. Have you ever suggested teaching God's love in a new and positive way, pointing out Bible verses that support your theories, but were simply viewed as one push away from going off the deep end? These reactions are due to a fear of the unknown, a fear I have experienced throughout my entire life, but a fear that is nonetheless very destructive. I understand that churches do not want to encourage practices that may not be in line with Biblical teachings, but being close-minded is a good way to shove people out your doors.

5. Members are guilted into coming every Sunday.

Many churches will tell their members that Christians need church in their lives in order to stay connected and grow in their faith. I do not disagree with the general idea behind this admonition. In any subject, individuals must keep learning in order to expand their knowledge base. Connecting with other Christians is a great way to increase accountability, provide a close-knit family for each member, and to learn more about Jesus. When churches say things like "Some people say they don't need church, but you have to stay connected in order to stay on the right path" are employing the guilt card to get people to come back every Sunday. By using the "you can't do this on your own" ploy, churches cause more harm than good, especially when people start doubting the strength of their own faith. This can be traced back to the problem of negativity; a negative message will only serve to hinder individuals in their walk with God, not help them change it for the better. Additionally, when individuals feel as if they are being told what to do, they oftentimes decide to do the exact opposite. Guilt is not the emotion that God wants us to feel when coming to church, and when we feel forced into a regular attendance, we may not want to come at all.

Again, these problems are ones that pop up in every church I have ever attended and likely many more. These explanations are not meant to point fingers or bash the Church, but they are meant to shed light on some of the reasons many people do not enjoy going to church, attend only on the holidays, or simply stop going altogether.

I feel guilty whenever I miss a service, but I find it very difficult to sit through them every Sunday because of the aforementioned issues. I am not giving out excuses to stop attending church, and I am not telling others that they should just stay home when Sunday rolls around each week. These are just a few of the things I have noticed that could be keeping people from coming back and continuously on the road in search of a new church family.