Okay, maybe not, but pretty close.
Sometimes, when I go to Barns and Noble and search hours for the perfect book, then finally find one, I immediately regret paying $28.00 for something that I’ll use for 3 or 4 days and never see again – especially the hardcover copy because we all know those are more expensive. However, I hadn't bought a non-school book in a long time so I thought I deserved a new, un-educational read. So, I went out and bought Amy Schumer’s new book, The Girl with The Lower Back Tattoo. The title itself is hilarious because not only is it poking fun at the crime novel, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, but she really has a lower back tattoo.
Within the first couple of pages I realized two things. 1) Amy Schumer is as funny as ever, while talking about “New Money” and poking fun at Kim Kardashian’s sex tape and 2) she is human like all of us. The book is composed of (extremely) personal essays that range from “An Introduction to My Stuffed Animals” to “How I Lost My Virginity”, and without giving away too much, I’ll just say the latter is surprisingly sad. A few of the essays really spoke to me. Not in a spiritual-finding-myself kind of way, but just as a regular person finding some commonalities with a world-famous comedian.
1. She's an Introvert, I'm an Introvert
In her fourth essay, "I Am an Introvert", she briefly explains what an introvert is and how they are commonly misunderstood.
"Being an introvert doesn't mean you're shy. It means you enjoy being alone. Not just enjoy it - you need it. If you're a true introvert, other people are energy vampires. You don't hate them; you just have to be strategic about when you expose yourself to them - like the sun."
Most people confuse being an introvert with being shy. Though I tend to be shy, I know for a fact that I am also an introvert. I love meeting new people, but I also love being alone and having some time to myself. There are a lot of things I like to do in order to "recharge", writing being one of them. Amy later explains how much writing has contributed to keeping her sane and gives her the alone time us introverts so often crave. Leading me to my next point...
2. She loves writing, I love writing
In the same essay, Amy expresses her love for writing and how calm and composed she feels when sitting at her computer typing away.
"I know some people who've written books have struggled through it, and you can feel them ripping themselves apart on every page. But for me, writing this book has been one of the greatest pleasures of my life. Sitting and writing and talking to no one is how I wish I could spend the better part of every day."
I love how she explains her alone time is "like food to me." It's absolutely 100% accurate. In order for me to survive college and the busy schedule I so often find myself drowning in, I need to write. Once I realized how much I enjoy writing and expressing myself on paper (or screen), I knew exactly what I wanted to do; leading me to eventually changing my major and career path.
3. She had a rough freshman year, I had a rough freshman year
I think the majority of freshman college experiences are either horrible or amazing, I don't think there's really an in between (in my opinion). Mine, as you may have inferred from the heading, was not ideal. Yes, I had a good time at football games and meeting new people, but I also struggled with my image and finding out who I really am (okay, maybe there is an in-between), as cliché as that might sound. In her essay titled, "Beautiful and Strong", Amy Schumer talks a lot about the struggles of becoming a little fish in a big pond. I have heard that analogy many times before and it never really registered until I came to a huge university; that is what I was - a little fish.
"This [high school] was the sweet spot in life when I didn't spend a lot of time questioning my worth. I owned what I had and didn't sweat the rest...Then I got to college...All of a sudden being witty and charismatic didn't mean shit. Day after day I could feel the confidence draining from my body. I was not what these guys wanted...I am embarrassed to say, it was killing me."
Like Amy, I am embarrassed to admit that this is exactly how I felt. Granted, I didn't come to college in search of a guy, but I did want to fit in and make friends. I felt that a lot of girls (and guys) were joining clubs, going out, becoming a part of a sorority or fraternity, and I was just sitting in my room doing homework or watching Netflix. I did find a few great people to hang out with and I know that some of you who are reading this and also follow me on Snapchat are probably thinking, Really, Montana? I've seen you party. And what about all those football games you went to? Okay, fair enough. Sometimes that is true, but I didn't get as involved as I had hoped I would. I blame my introverted personality, but I also think I just came in with way too many expectations.
4. Her mom screwed her up, my mom screwed me up
Like she says in her book, "Everyone's parents have fucked them up one way or another...Mothers are people - not angles from heaven or Ex Machina error-free service bots." I am an open book, a lot like Amy. So, most of my friends know that I wasn't raised by my parents. My mother decided early on that it just wasn't the job for her. Many people ask if I'm okay with that, and yes, I'm TOTALLY OKAY. But, like Amy, I still have to work hard not to internalize my feelings toward my mother. I would be lying if I said I don't sometimes long for that unique sense of comfort and love. I wish we could have a normal mother-daughter relationship, but unfortunately that is never going to happen.
5. She is human, I am human
Lastly, Amy Schumer is a real human being, SHOCKER. Like I said in the beginning of this article, within the first couple of pages I realized that she is a person, just like you and me. I think we, as the consumers, sometimes see famous people as make believe creatures and we forget that behind the magazine covers and the blockbuster films, there is an actual person who goes through the same stuff we do. Reading her book has made me realize, despite her being almost twice my age, we are alike in many ways. Seeing this really puts things into perspective, at least for me, because life happens, and sometimes all at once. So now when I think that her life (or even Beyonce's) is so glamorous and fun, I can remember that she is struggling (or did struggle) with a lot of the same stuff I am. Whether that be image, relationships, or siblings, I know that nobody is perfect and nobody has there life together...especially at 19.
Side Note: I totally recommend this book if you want a really good laugh, a relatable read, or if you just like reading about sex, life, and raunchy moments. She is by far one of my favorite people to keep up with and I love watching her show. 10/10 recommend. You won't regret it because it is UH-MAZING!
