Being in a long-distance relationship is never the ideal situation, but if you wish to stay with your partner when one of you moves away, there's often no other choice. LDRs are pretty tricky- they cause quite a bit of emotional distress, and only the strongest survive. But when it's for love, it's worth it.
That's why it's important that you and your partner are prepared for the challenges you'll be facing. To make sure you can handle a LDR, here are some questions you should ask yourself before committing.
1. How long have you two been together?
Moving away from the person you're dating is a big change, so it's important to consider what other changes you've had to work through together in the past. If you and your partner have only been together for a few months, have always lived in the same place, and have always gone to the same school, you might not necessarily know how you two will react to changes. But if you've been together for, say, a year or more, you've probably experienced graduations, family emergencies, big milestones, and other curve balls. If you two have been able to adjust and work through things before, chances are you'll be able to do it again.
2. Are you willing to put in work?
When someone isn't a regular part of your daily life anymore, it's easy to forget to keep in contact with them. So you'll need to set aside time to call, FaceTime, or Skype your significant other. It's important to do more than just text them because the content of text messages tend to lack in substance, and hearing your partner's voice or seeing their face maintains a feeling of closeness. As with any relationship, communication is one of the most important things, so it's especially important to maintain contact and keep each other updated about your lives when you're in a long-distance relationship.
Being away from your partner may also make you feel sad or lonely, so it's essential to find activities that make you happy and will help with taking your mind off of how much you miss him/her. Getting an "I miss you" text every five minutes is going to get annoying for them, especially when they have to try to cheer you up all of the time. Try forcing yourself to get outside more often or spend time with friends, even when you're feeling miserable.
3. Are they willing to put in work?
One of the biggest problems that occurs in long-distance relationships is when the effort becomes one-sided. Just as it's important for you to call them every once in a while, it's important for them to stay connected as well. Otherwise, you won't know what's going on in each other's lives and you'll lose that feeling of closeness. They have to be just as dedicated to this as you are.
4. Do you trust them?
Trust is an important aspect of any relationship. If you think that your partner is going to take advantage of your absence, it is absolutely not worth attempting a long-distance relationship. It might be tempting for them to pursue other people, especially since they won't get to be with you as often as they would like. It's understandable for a person to become unhappy in their relationship and break it off in order to explore other options, but it is unacceptable for a person to deceive their significant other into thinking that they're committed to the relationship when they're actually not. So it's important to consider whether your partner has a history of deception or betrayal.
5. Do you trust yourself?
Watching other people flirting or dating can make you feel lonely. If you're concerned that you won't be able to resist the temptation of cheating, spare your partner the heartbreak and don't mislead them. It's just cruel to let someone continue to be emotionally invested in a relationship while you're pursuing other options.
One last piece of advice I can offer is that if you decide to try a long-distance relationship and find yourself unhappy, or feel that it's not worth it, there is nothing wrong with doing what is best for you and breaking it off. After all, the main point of a relationship is to be with someone who makes you happy. No matter what happens, be honest with your partner. Things always have a way of working themselves out.
