It is the most wonderful time of year again, and I don’t mean Christmas. Thanksgiving provides guys with a chance once more to relive their football glory years with friends and family. Yes, I am talking about the Turkey Bowl.

Groups of friends across the country engage in the age-old tradition of playing a game of football before the Thanksgiving feast. Some will play two-hand touch while others will get nice and physical by playing tackle. At the end of the day, this tradition can be just as fun as the actual Thanksgiving dinner itself. However, one thing becomes more and more clear after each Turkey Bowl, there are five distinct characters that show up. These five people may not be in every one, but there is a good chance when you go to your Turkey Bowl this year you will recognize one of your friends as one of these characters

Honorable Mention: The China Doll

I wanted to put him in with the rest, but I couldn’t because this guy barely plays. It seems like on every play, this guy is down with a new injury. Actually, come to think of it, some of his injuries don’t even seem real.

It’s Not the Turkey Bowl It’s the Super Bowl

This guy can be just the worst if you’re playing against him. He probably didn’t get in much during high school, so now he is out to prove to the world what he’s made of. This guy will be the one who takes the whole event way too seriously. Expect him to be the one diving at people’s knees, making late hits, and even yelling at his own teammates when they mess up. For this guy his whole Thanksgiving is ruined if he does not bring home a Turkey Bowl title.

The Big Talker

On several occasions I have gone to a Turkey Bowl looking for this guy only to realize it was me. When the big talker shows up, he is the one who is telling everyone about how many touchdowns he will score. At times, it seems like he’s joking, but there is a hint of belief in his words, like he actually believes he’s about to somehow throw for seven, catch four, and run for three touchdowns, then kick a 50-yard field goal. However, once the game starts, he realizes that he hasn’t run in five months and it might take a small miracle for him to just make it up and down the field.

The Opposite of the Try Hard

For him, this game is just about hanging out with some friends. On regular occasions he flirted with the idea of not going, but at the last second decided on doing it. He does not care about winning and losing, just wanting to avoid taking too hard of a hit. If you don’t know who this is at your Turkey Bowl I would tell you he’s not hard to spot. This guy will be the one who you see jogging the entire game. Not because he is tired though, simply because he doesn’t care.

The All-Time QB

I feel like this guy shows up no matter what football game you're playing. This is the guy who shows up and either wants to play quarterback and is awful at it, or wants to play quarterback for both teams to avoid playing any defense. Either option is not fun. In the case of the first option, you are either stuck with him playing miserably from QB or having to listen to him complain when he’s not selected as QB. While the other one just kills competition as he tries to play for both teams.

The Drunken Friend

For me personally, this is my absolute favorite. Here is the one friend who decides why not and gets bombed before showing up to the Turkey Bowl. What makes his character so funny is that once the game starts, you can just tell how hard he is struggling. However, most Thanksgivings are pretty chilly, so this character at least doesn’t feel the cold like the rest of us.

At the end of the day, each and every one of these guys are probably a good friend of yours. So even though they may be one of these characters, you're still going be buds once the game ends. So, from me to you, have a Happy Turkey Bowl and try not being the big talker like myself.