A friend recently suggested a book of poetry to me titled, "Salt," by Nayyirah Waheed. Waheed is a fabulous writer whose poems resonate with people all over the world. Here are excerpts from some of my favorite poems in "Salt," and the thoughts they provoke.

“Where you are. Is not who you are.”
From "Circumstances"

For a long time, I thought that the stage in my life that I occupied (mostly in my eating disorder recovery) defined who I was. I thought that if I was in the midst of a relapse, that meant that I was a failure. This didn't only apply to my eating disorder, though. I also thought that if I was behind on my schoolwork or in a fight with a friend, I must be a horrible person. I continually let my “circumstances” dictate the way I saw myself. This quote reminds me, however, that my circumstances do not define me. Just because I am struggling does not mean I am a failure of a person. Just because I am angry does not mean I am a bad person. I am me. Not my circumstances.

“You see your face. You see a flaw. How. If you are the only one who has this face.”
From "The beauty construct"

This quote reminds me of my individuality. It reminds me that there is only one me in this universe, and no one can take that away from me or change that. I have spent the majority of my life hating myself -- mostly for my physical appearance. Waheed importantly reminds me that it is impossible for my appearance to be truly flawed when there is nothing to compare it to -- no other me. Instead, this beauty construct has taught me to find endless flaws within myself, forcing me to compare myself to others and hate myself when I don't measure up to society’s standards. Every morning, I must remind myself that there is only one me. And I cannot let my perceived flaws shrink me.

“There is you and you. This is a relationship. This is the most important relationship.”
From "Home"

I’ve always been someone who has cared about others more than I care about myself. I’m constantly putting others before myself, going to great lengths to help others. While some may consider this an admirable trait, and I’d never want to change my compassionate nature, it can be detrimental. It allows me to focus on the needs of others while ignoring my own. It encourages me to ignore my relationship with myself and instead narrow in on my relationships with others. And, yet, Waheed is right; at the end of the day all I have is myself. The relationship I have with myself, then, must be of great importance. It’s about time I start acting like it.

“Be insecure in peace. Allow yourself lowness. Know that it is only a country on the way to who you are.”
From "Traveling"

I’ve always blamed myself for being insecure -- believing that if only I were more confident, I’d be a stronger, better person. I thought it was my fault that I had no self-esteem, no self-confidence. I hated myself for being insecure. I thought it was ruining my life. Upon reading this quote, however, I’ve started thinking more about insecurity. What if insecurity isn’t something to beat myself up over? What if it’s a necessary ingredient in discovering who I truly am? If that’s the case, perhaps I shouldn't hate myself for being so insecure.

“It is being honest about my pain that makes me invincible.”
From "Yield"

People constantly ask me why, and how, I’m so open about my story. The most truthful answer I can give them is: I don’t know. I don't know why I’ve been able to open up; most likely, it’s because I want to break the silence and help others. That being said, there’s a lot of shame that comes with sharing my story. It feels embarrassing; it feels vulnerable. I’m never sure how people will react. It’s a scary thing to do: share your soul. But maybe Waheed is right in this quote. Maybe sharing my story with others helps myself heal. Maybe it helps strengthen me. Maybe, just maybe, I do it in part to help myself, too.