5 Lessons You Learn From Not Achieving Your Goals

5 Lessons You Learn From Not Achieving Your Goals

"It's fine to celebrate success, but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure." -Bill Gates
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Unaccomplished goals sting. There's no debate over it. No matter how hard you try, it just doesn't always happen. You can let the failure break you and tear you down, or you can use it as motivation to persist, persevere at times of adversity, and keep trying.

Michael Jordan once said, "I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

Jordan has learned to see the silver lining through his failures and I'm here too, to discuss the several takeaways from unachieved goals. The lessons you can embrace will take your disappointment, transform it into drive and dedication, and help you recommit to your goals.

1. You learn how to cope with failure.

When you fail, sometimes it's out of your control. You'll recognize failure is necessary and important and only leads to learning, growth, and maturity. Every time you don't achieve a goal, you accumulate more knowledge on how to succeed and reach it. Failure does not equal defeat. You get back up, keep going, and stay focused.

2. Your resilience begins to shape you.

Not only does it shape you, but it shapes your values, priorities, and perspectives. It brings your goals to the forefront of your mind with utter clarity. Your motivation is revamped and you become submersed in your passion to perfect your craft. You itch to revise your strategies. You get excited to create a new game plan. Your focus drives your execution.

3. You accept that it's just not your time.

When things turn awry, many tend to rely on their Higher Power to help them through the hardship. Failure is not any different. You might pray every day, you find those prayers to be unanswered and unfulfilled as each day passes. Your Higher Power isn't ignoring you, they're just saying "not yet." It's not your timing, it's theirs. It's in their hands. You learn to find comfort in their care.

4. "No" is no longer an acceptable answer.

When you don't get something you really wanted, you either give up or you push even harder to get it. Failing is a safe-proof way to realize how bad (or not bad) you actually want something. When you hear the word "no," your brain registers it as "work harder."

5. The vision of your goal made you better.

Even when you don't achieve your goal, the endless pursuit of it changed and molded you into who you are today. After chasing something for an extended amount of time, you're bound to grow. You're bound to learn new things. Even if the end result wasn't what you hoped for, nothing and no one can take away the knowledge you've gained, growth you've made, and sacrifice you've endured through relentless effort, late nights, and leaps of faith.


Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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3 Reasons Why Step Dads Are Super Dads

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I often hear a lot of people complaining about their step-parents and wondering why they think that they have any authority over them. Although I know that everyone has different situations, I will be the first to admit that I am beyond blessed to have a step dad. Yep, I said it. My life wouldn't be the same that it is not without him in it. Let me tell you why I think step dads are the greatest things since sliced bread.

1. They will do anything for you, literally.

My stepdad has done any and every thing for me. From when I was little until now. He was and still is my go-to. If I was hungry, he would get me food. If something was broken, he would fix it. If I wanted something, he would normally always find a way to get it. He didn't spoil me (just sometimes), but he would make sure that I was always taken care of.

SEE ALSO: The Thank You That Step-Parents Deserve

2. Life lessons.

Yup, the tough one. My stepdad has taught me things that I would have never figured out on my own. He has stood beside me through every mistake. He has been there to pick me up when I am down. My stepdad is like the book of knowledge: crazy hormonal teenage edition. Boy problems? He would probably make me feel better. He just always seemed to know what to say. I think that the most important lesson that I have learned from my stepdad is: to never give up. My stepdad has been through three cycles of leukemia. He is now in remission, yay!! But, I never heard him complain. I never heard him worry and I never saw him feeling sorry for himself. Through you, I found strength.

3. He loved me as his own.

The big one, the one that may seem impossible to some step parents. My stepdad is not actually my stepdad, but rather my dad. I will never have enough words to explain how grateful I am for this man, which is why I am attempting to write this right now. It takes a special kind of human to love another as if they are their own. There had never been times where I didn't think that my dad wouldn't be there for me. It was like I always knew he would be. He introduces me as his daughter, and he is my dad. I wouldn't have it any other way. You were able to show me what family is.

So, dad... thanks. Thanks for being you. Thanks for being awesome. Thanks for being strong. Thanks for loving me. Thanks for loving my mom. Thanks for giving me a wonderful little sister. Thanks for being someone that I can count on. Thanks for being my dad.

I love you!

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My Eating Disorder Was A Secret, Even From Me

No one ever talks about it, and if they had my life might be different.

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I remember ninth grade health class very well, specifically one day in particular. The day we talked about eating disorders, I was ready to hear about anorexia and bulimia. I was not ready to walk out of that classroom with confirmation that I had an eating disorder, but that is exactly what I did that day.

After speaking on anorexia and bulimia, my teacher told us about Binge Eating Disorder.

My 14-year-old ears perked up. I had never heard of this disease, but I was immediately interested. I knew anorexia and bulimia well, they were the diseases that, at the time, I wish I had the determination to try, but I was too scared to hurt my body.

Binge Eating Disorder was new to me. My teacher described it as continuing to eat after you were full and eating for hours at a time. As the signs and symptoms continued to be read, I realized... that the last three years of my life had been plagued by binges. There was a lot I couldn't control in my life, but eating was one thing that I always had control over. It was the one thing that always brought me comfort.

Most binges would start after I came home from a hard day at school, or maybe after I got in a fight with a family member. Maybe I felt insecure about the growing number on the scale, but I ate.

It always started with half a bag of chips, then maybe a cookie or other sweet treat, and then I would finish with something else I could find in the pantry. My mother would come home and begin making dinner.

Ashamed, I would hide the food anywhere so my family could not tell I had been eating and then I would go eat dinner.

This was a common occurrence for me, but I had no idea that my habits were wrong or should point to an eating disorder. The only thing that I knew was wrong with me, was that I was gaining weight.

For the longest time, I thought an eating disorder was something that helped you lose weight unhealthily, not gain weight. It wasn't until I sat in a health class that I realized that there was anything wrong with me.

Education is so important in overcoming eating disorders. We are making such great strides about informing people about the dangers of eating disorders and positive body image.

It is so important that we start making Binge Eating Disorder a topic that is as known as anorexia and bulimia. No one ever discusses Binge Eating Disorder, not even the dangers of it, maybe if they had my life might have been different.

Maybe I would have found out about it earlier and could have gotten help before it got out of hand.

I wish I could say that I left that health class that day and never had a binge again. The truth is I binged several times after that, and still to this day I have an episode, although they are very rare.

It would be unrealistic to tell you that I overcame my eating disorder that day because it is a journey I am still completing. Every day presents a new challenge, and sometimes I fail, but I will succeed, and succeeding is worth a few failures.

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