As my freshman year at Mississippi State is quickly (but not quick enough) coming to a close, I am finding myself reflecting on the year. It’s been a wild ride but I wouldn’t change a second of it. I had to figure out some tough things by myself this year, now I am happy to share with you the five most important things I wish I would have known before I entered my freshman year of college.
1.You will lose contact with your friends back home.
As I hugged my best friends goodbye, with tears in my eyes before heading to the airport, I was full of hope that we would be in constant communication. First it was non-stop texts and a call once a week, then it became a few texts a week and a call a month, now it’s a text here and there and a call or two a semester. I know it sounds sad, and you might be thinking, "no way could I ever lose touch with my very best friends since childhood." It will happen, and that is okay. Of course there are special cases, your lifelong BFF isn’t just going to drop off the face of the earth, but it takes two to stay in touch.
Sometimes even when you do all you can to keep in contact, the other person won’t put in the same effort. This loss of contact does not mean your friends don’t care and it does not mean your friendship is completely gone. Life gets busy and overwhelming and it becomes difficult to keep up with friends so far away. Don’t let this bring you down, hold the memories close and make more when you meet again. Send encouraging texts every once in awhile, give them a call when you’re thinking of them, or even send a handwritten letter. Just because it seems they have given up communication doesn’t mean you have to, and it does not mean they don’t still love you.
2.Homesickness is very real.
Whether you’re ten miles away from home, or a thousand, you will be homesick. Personally, I never thought homesickness would be an issue. I was so wrong. I missed my family so much it hurt. I missed hugging my dad, driving to school with my sister, having long talks with my mom and watching endless, stupid vines with my brother. I missed my heavenly, queen size bed and cuddling with my dog after a long day. I missed even the smallest, seemingly insignificant things about home and it took a toll on me emotionally and physically. My heart and body felt heavy with sadness and longing. I felt empty from the inside-out and the homesickness began to effect my health.
When the darkness of homesickness begins to creep into your heart, do not hide from it. It’s okay to cry, so cry, then call your mom, then dry your tears and do something productive to keep from plummeting into sadness like I did. Your family is not going anywhere, you will see them soon. This is a very real and very important part of growing up. If you live near, don’t go home every weekend–be homesick. It will ultimately make you stronger, and reuniting with your family will feel even more special.
3.You will surprise yourself.
I used to dread school, and I couldn’t wait to graduate. I was on the fence about going to college not even a month into my freshman year. Now I look forward to expanding my knowledge, challenging myself, and I even have a deep appreciation for education. As a child, I was incredibly shy. I relied on my sister and my friends when confronted with nerve-racking social situations.
Now, after going more than 1,000 miles away from home all by myself, I am confident and delighted to meet new people and go unfamiliar places. I have newfound interests and aspirations that I never could have foreseen. Freshman year of college is full of firsts, facing fears and discovering new things about yourself and the world around you. The change of heart, passion or attitude you will experience may come as a shock but it is not to be hidden or feared. Instead, cherish and explore this change– it may lead to something wonderful.
4.Your emotions will be all over the place.
Things are undoubtedly going to change drastically throughout your freshman year. There is no way of avoiding this change, so embrace it. These changes will bring about a flood of differing, contrasting emotions and it can be overwhelming — know that these vast emotions are completely normal. You will face regret, wondering if you chose the right school or the right major, and looking back on what you could’ve done differently in high school. You will face loneliness — the feeling that no one understands and that you don’t belong. You will face frustration when you’re overwhelmed by the business of life and when your beliefs and opinions are challenged. You will face happiness in your new found freedom and the exciting new experiences. You will face love for your incredible new friends, passions and independence. You will face satisfaction knowing that you are doing something meaningful with your life and working towards success.
Your heart will be thrown every which way and yes — it will be hard, but it is worth it. Being able to explore so many different emotions while taking the opportunity to learn and grow in an exciting new environment is truly a blessing. Cry, laugh, scream, dance, sigh, smile, dream, fall down, stand up and breathe.
5. Everything is going to be OK.
College is difficult and overwhelming, but it is an incredible opportunity. There will be times you’re awake at 4 a.m. cramming for a test, your body is aching from running around campus like a mad-man and your mind is exhausted from hours of tedious lectures. There will be a time when your soul is weak, you’re efforts seem pointless and you’re questioning why you are putting yourself through all of this stress and frustration. You will struggle to find a purpose as your eyes grow red and weary. All you want is to crawl into your bed that knows you so well and drift peacefully into your dreams and in the safety and comfort of the home you grew up in.
You have a purpose, you are worthy and important and your struggle is meaningful and real. You will benefit from these sleepless nights and you will find that these overwhelming feelings hold purpose. Breathe, and smile, because you are here. You are alive and you are taking hold of the wonderful opportunity life has given you to make your dreams reality. No matter what may come your way, the sun will continue to rise and the earth will continue to turn; take a moment to put things into perspective and count your blessings. I promise you, everything will be okay.
“Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life” -Omar Khayyam
