Do you apologize a lot? I do. I mean a lot. Often for things I don't even need to apologize for. Like, you just spilled your drink all over me? I'm so sorry! Justin Bieber might as well be asking my life's question: is it too late now to say sorry? (Even if it is, I'll probably still say it anyway.)
Basically, the word "sorry" has lost any and all meaning, in my opinion, because we overuse it on a regular basis. How can we fix this? How can we still express our apologies without once again uttering that five-letter word?
Here are five ways of saying "sorry" without actually saying sorry:
1. "Wow, I suck."
This one takes the good old self-deprecating route. I personally use this one a lot to let the person I've wronged know that yes, I do in fact realize that I have made a mistake and am taking full responsibility for my suckiness in this moment.
2. "I extend to you my sincerest apologies."
This is for when you're feeling extra classy, or possibly if you are apologizing to a superior. Bonus points if you bow and extend a hand while you say it.
3. "Hey remember when I did ____ for you?"
The re-focusing move is a classic. Use this when the thing you think you might need to make amends for is minor and easily forgotten, such as forgetting to reply to a text. Take it from me, if you actually need to apologize for something more important, don't use this idea because c'mon you are a better person than that...
4. "Wanna dance?"
This one takes a game plan. Prepare a Spotify playlist with songs that feature the word "sorry" or "apologize" and let the music do the talking. This works best if the tunes are more upbeat, none of that depressing stuff. My personal favorites would of course have to be Bieber's "Sorry" and OneRepublic's "Apologize".
5. "HERE'S A PUPPY!!!"
If all else fails, you can always take the puppy route. I am going to put myself on record for saying that 9 times out of 10, the person you are begging for forgiveness from will decide that your past mistakes are just water under the bridge once you stick a cute pup in their face. Or at least they'll be momentarily distracted and you can make your escape!
*Bonus*
Don't apologize. Or, specifically, evaluate the situation and assess if you actually need to apologize. If you're like me, more often than not you're blowing things up in your head and everyone else has already moved on.
I extend to you my sincerest gratitude for reading.
Now, go hug a puppy.
