Every four years our beautiful country holds an election for the next president of this great land. This year we have truly hit the jackpot with our candidates. The jack pot for most obnoxious humiliating candidates ever, that is. While I find Donald Trump and his actions to be grotesque and outlandish, I can think of about a million different things I would rather do than vote for "Crooked" Hillary Clinton. In honor of this being the election for our 45th President, here's just a sample size of 45 of those things that seem like a better choice than voting Hillary for president.
1. Apply my makeup with a hammer
2. Tattoo myself with a used needle
3. Get stuck on the bus with Michael Jackson impersonators
4. Listen to Nickelback
5. Go to a Nickelback concert
6. Bungee jump into a pool of sharks
7. Cut my toenails with a machete
8. Compete in the Hunger Games
9. Get trapped in a car with Taylor Swift
10. Work for Donald Trump Jr.
11. Run in circles with a bear chasing me
12. Listen to the "Teletubbies" theme song on loop
13. Repeat high school for the next 12 years
14. Shampoo my hair with cat pee
15. Drink two week old coffee, black
16. Miss the million dollar question on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?"
17. Brush my teeth with super glue
18. I rather be on the yellow team on Pokemon Go
19. Swim while it's lightening outside
20. Listen to bad covers of "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston
21. Lay on the ground, face up in the middle of a Twenty One Pilots mosh pit
22. Babysit Ivanka Trump's children
23. Clean my cat's poop with my bare hands
24. Blow my nose with a napkin off of the streets of NYC
25. Take shots of lighter fluid
26. Name my child "Nokia"
27. Be Melania Trump's speech writer
28. Eat BBQ from above the Mason Dixon (I'm from Texas)
29. Wear Crocs with socks
30. Have Netflix constantly buffering
31. Put Kanye West on the five dollar bill
32. Get a tattoo of Kevin Malone from "The Office" on my breast
33. Drink my own urine
34. Drink unsweet tea
35. Root for the Baltimore Ravens (I'm a Steelers Fan)
36. Lay in the middle of the Australian Outback without shade or water
37. Run out of Pokeballs with a Pikachu in front of me
38. In a football game between Texas A&M and Alabama, I rather cheer for Bama, Hiiiiiissssssssssssssssss
39. I rather Dr Pepper be banned
40. Step into a pile of Legos barefoot
41. Brush my hair with a broom
42. Blow dry my hair in the shower
43. Get a degree in Clown History
44. Shave my leg with a rusty swiss army knife
45. I rather the people of this country start to see Hillary Clinton for what she really is. An evil, self centered, drama filled, murdering, criminal who needs to go to jail. #HillaryforPrison
These are the things I personally rather do than vote for "her."
