4 Ways Millennials Can Prevent An Untimely Demise

4 Ways Millennials Can Prevent An Untimely Demise

Reading this article will add at least 10 years to your life expectancy, which cancels out smoking so you don't have to quit!
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Being alive is hazardous. In every passing moment, you're surrounded by a host of calamities ready to fling you from this mortal coil and fall arse first into Charon's cramped and crowded canoe.

Whether you're going sky-diving for a lark or attempting to swallow a pea that's become lodged in your poorly designed throat, you'll need all the help you can get if you want to make it to an age where people won't say, "he was too young," when you inevitably die.

4. Wear protective gear at all times.

Contact with the physical world is the number one killer of all living things. Yeah, I know, I sound like your mum when you try to go skateboarding with your cool friends who despise safety gear, but I'm 100% for real, yo.

These are my pajamas.

Start off with knee-pads, elbow-pads, and a helmet. They can protect you from stuff like bird shit, which is known to harvest seriously dangerous bacteria, as well as incoming projectiles or falling over drunk in the street.

3. Always carry disposable rubber gloves and sanitizer.

Think of the amount of objects you touch in a day. Then think of the amount of other people who also touch those objects. It's a high number, right?

Do you trust those people to not have deadly illnesses, like tuberculosis or the mumps? You've never even met them. How do you know they're not running around trying to infect everybody with their ill health, fueled by jealousy of your good health.

"Those dirty hand-rails won't get me. Not like my wife."

With a bottle of sanitizer, you can disinfect the high-risk door handles of night-club toilets and make the rave safer for everybody, including yourself.

Alternatively, you can wear disposable rubber gloves to avoid making skin contact with anything ever again.

2. Research medical science.

There is a small percentage of our society who dedicate their short lives to extending the lives of others through the modern wizardry known as science. Whether it is the genuine desire to help people not die, or the seductive wage packet and honorable milieu, these are the chosen few who actively seek out the rules of death and develop ways to prolong his visit.

With steel, snakes and brute strength.

If you were to become a useful part of the medical science community, then it would suggest that you also had a substantial amount of medical knowledge.

This medical knowledge could be just what you need to tick over a few extra years and avoid jumping the gun on kicking the bucket.

1. Go with your gut instinct.

It so happens that all people throughout history who have claimed to know ways to stay healthy and live for a long time have eventually died like everyone else. Many too young for that matter. So who's advice do you trust when you're looking for a few extra years crawling warily through this booby-trapped existence?

Your own. Nobody's done it right so far, so who's to say you're wrong? Do you think Keith Richards followed mainstream methods of life-extension? No! And he's perfectly fine.


Well, he's alive.

Now that you've done a little research into life elongation tactics, you must be feeling a little better knowing that you can press the snooze button on your inevitable death.


Did these tactics work for you? Have some suggestions of your own? Tell me I'm a complete buffoon in the comments below!

Cover Image Credit: blackhairstyleshq

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If You've Ever Been Called Overly-Emotional Or Too Sensitive, This Is For You

Despite what they have told you, it's a gift.
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Emotional: a word used often nowadays to insult someone for their sensitivity towards a multitude of things.

If you cry happy tears, you're emotional. If you express (even if it's in a healthy way) that something is bothering you, you're sensitive. If your hormones are in a funk and you just happen to be sad one day, you're emotional AND sensitive.

Let me tell you something that goes against everything people have probably ever told you. Being emotional and being sensitive are very, very good things. It's a gift. Your ability to empathize, sympathize, and sensitize yourself to your own situation and to others' situations is a true gift that many people don't possess, therefore many people do not understand.

Never let someone's negativity toward this gift of yours get you down. We are all guilty of bashing something that is unfamiliar to us: something that is different. But take pride in knowing God granted this special gift to you because He believes you will use it to make a difference someday, somehow.

This gift of yours was meant to be utilized. It would not be a part of you if you were not meant to use it. Because of this gift, you will change someone's life someday. You might be the only person that takes a little extra time to listen to someone's struggle when the rest of the world turns their backs. In a world where a six-figure income is a significant determinant in the career someone pursues, you might be one of the few who decides to donate your time for no income at all. You might be the first friend someone thinks to call when they get good news, simply because they know you will be happy for them. You might be an incredible mother who takes too much time to nurture and raise beautiful children who will one day change the world.

To feel everything with every single part of your being is a truly wonderful thing. You love harder. You smile bigger. You feel more. What a beautiful thing! Could you imagine being the opposite of these things? Insensitive and emotionless?? Both are unhealthy, both aren't nearly as satisfying, and neither will get you anywhere worth going in life.

Imagine how much richer your life is because you love other's so hard. It might mean more heartache, but the reward is always worth the risk. Imagine how much richer your life is because you are overly appreciative of the beauty a simple sunset brings. Imagine how much richer your life is because you can be moved to tears by the lessons of someone else's story.

Embrace every part of who you are and be just that 100%. There will be people who criticize you for the size of your heart. Feel sorry for them. There are people who are dishonest. There are people who are manipulative. There are people who are downright malicious. And the one thing people say to put you down is "you feel too much." Hmm..

Sounds like more of a compliment to me. Just sayin'.

Cover Image Credit: We Heart It

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Starting T Didn't Go The Way I Planned And I'm So Thankful For That

Nothing ever goes as it should, so why should this?

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On April 4, 2019, I officially started the medical part of my transition. I say the medical part of my transition because my transition started long before that day, this was just the medical aspect of things. The day before was my 20th birthday and my mom came to town to surprise me. A few months ago she told me that she had scheduled an appointment with my endocrinologist for June 4, 2019, so that I could talk to them about starting T. Over dinner that night my mom told me that part of my birthday present was that she lied about my appointment, it was actually April 4th and not June 4th.

After I got over the initial shock, tears of joy and excitement, my mom and I had a long serious talk about things to make sure that I was ready to go through with things. The time I had to prepare had been cut down from two months to less than 24 hours. At first, I was panicking because I like to prepare for things but this is something that I have wanted for a long time.

When I went to the doctor's office the next day I was ready, I felt calm and prepared. I knew that my life was about to change in a way that I desperately needed and wanted it to. Even though I was ready for this moment I was still super fucking nervous, I left my letters (the letters a therapist has to write for you in order to start your transition) at home so my mom had to run home and get them while I was filling out my paperwork.

After talking with my doctor and her giving me the okay to start, I found out that it would probably be another two weeks before I actually started T because of the insurance company handles the prescriptions. But the way things were working, I got home, my mom left, and fifteen minutes later I got a text saying my prescription was ready for pickup. Again, my time to prepare went from two weeks to instantly.

When I got picked up the prescription and went to the doctor's office to learn how to do my shots I knew everything was right. This whole process wasn't supposed to start until two months from now, and then when it started I was supposed to have two weeks to prepare because of the insurance company. But, it all started instantly and I'm SO thankful for that. If this process hadn't gone the way it did then I wouldn't have a really cool story to tell, I wouldn't have started T the day after my 20th birthday, and I wouldn't be able to tell the world that my mom really does go above and beyond for me. This wouldn't have been possible without her, she really went above and beyond for this one.

Thank you momma, I love you so much. TGFE.

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