Forgiving someone is a difficult thing to do for a lot of people, especially if someone has hurt you to the point where your just want to curse them out and never speak to them ever again. Forgiving is one of the many virtues we must have in order to be at peace with ourselves and with others. Even though your feelings may be hurt a little bit and you feel as if there is no way you can ever forgive someone who has said awful and hurtful things to you, in order to avoid being a bitter soul for the rest of your life, you must learn that it's easy to forgive and move on. But you should never forget how that person's words affected you. Forgiving someone is also a great sign of maturity and respect you have for yourself, that even though words may hurt, you can't let someone's opinion and judgement about you hurt you forever.
1) Don't let a person's past judgment about you affect you in the long run
It's easy for someone to look you in the eye and not know where you are coming from or how you really are as a person. It's natural for us humans to see another human being and judge them based on what we see easily on the outside. Sometimes people may think they have you all figured out way before you do. A lot of times, people have a hard time understanding someone and putting their feet in that other person's shoes. If you know who you really are as a person, you shouldn't let someone's words convince you to believe that you are that person they see in their eyes. In order to forgive someone first you must be able to know who you are as a person and you must not blame yourself for things that are way beyond out of your control.
2) In order to forgive, you must forgive yourself first
The worse judgement is our own judgement about ourselves. Most of that self-critical judgment comes from other people around us and what they think about us. In order to forgive someone, you must be able to forgive yourself and not blame yourself in situations you just could not help. It's easy for us to blame ourselves in certain situations that may affect us in some sort of emotional way, but if you want to be content and at peace with ourselves we must be able to forgive ourselves in certain situations we have no control over.
3) Learn not to hold a grudge on people
It's easy for us to be bitter, mean and just plain ugly to people who we feel did us wrong, but it honestly gets you nowhere in life. It only makes you fall into this deep dark hole you have no clue how to get out from. I think it is better for people to stop, understand, listen, be empathic and learn why people are the way they are, but since we're known to be lazy humans, nobody even wants to learn nowadays on why people react in certain situations the way they do. We mostly jump to conclusions or we tend to shut other people out based on our past judgment on them. It's easier to just let things go and be able to forgive those who have done you wrong. You're happier with yourself and you tend to move on in life just fine.
4) Show Love & Respect
Another step in order to learn how to be more forgiving to people is to show a little compassion and respect for them. It's not easy doing these things to people who didn't show the same emotions to you but you won't be known as that bitter minded person who has no love and respect for others. Even if it's a one-sided love or a one-sided respect, it is better for it to be on your end because you now know that you are at one with yourself. Once you learn to be at one with yourself, you can practically learn how to show love and respect, even in the worst case scenarios. Always learn that everything happens for a reason but that doesn't mean we have to make that reasoning worse by lashing out on other people who hurt us. Forgive, love, respect and be at peace with ourselves -- it's the only way to make situations a lot better in the end.
