There I was: age eight and sitting in the front yard of my sixth house, throwing powdery snowballs at yet another ‘for sale’ sign. At that point, I would be headed to my third different elementary school. My third round of whatever teacher I got stuck with bringing my gap-tooth and big tails to the class and announcing my arrival. “Class, this is Abby, she’s new!” * cringe *
Going to three different elementary schools and two different middle schools brought me an abundance of friends, but moving around so much made it super hard for me to ever have that ‘best’ friend that most people do. Even when I got to high school, and stayed there all four years, I had trouble getting attached to one person because I was so good at being friends with everyone.
Some days, the realization that I don’t have anyone to call my best friend sends me into a tear-filled evening of One Tree Hill reruns and Hershey kisses by the bag. Other days, I know there is a lot that of things that I have, that other people don’t.
1. I have no fear when it comes to trying new things
As a freshman at Southern Connecticut State University, I wanted nothing more than to join a sorority. I remember getting ready for the Greek Life meet & greet all by myself. I picked out my best top and most sophisticated shoes, and walked across campus, just me. I was ten minutes early, and had to hide out in the bathroom. When I sat down, I noticed everyone else was in pairs, with their roommates or someone they’d met in class.
For this big life decision, I wanted to do it, but didn’t have anyone to do it with. I was scared, but I wasn’t going to hold myself back just because I was afraid of being alone.
2. I am great at meeting new people
After years of practice, there is no doubt I would be awesome at talking to people. I can walk into any room and make at least an acquaintance, someone to talk with. This is also great when it comes to job interviews, because I am able to treat the interviewee as a new friend, not someone to fear.
3. I’m so independent
My first college roommate wouldn’t go to the dining hall if she had no one to go with. So that meant that some nights she had sour patch from the vending machine for dinner. She would starve because she was so scared to be by herself in public. Meanwhile, I can go to the movies by myself, eat by myself, buy clothes without anyone else’s opinion, etc. I can literally be alone all day long doing whatever I want to do. Yes, I get lonely, but I’m not scared and I value that big time.
4. I am free to be 100% me
The people you hang out with are the people you are most like. So if your best friend is gossipy, and rude, chances are you will be too, even if you don’t want to be that way. Without anyone specific to influence my opinions, I am able to think completely on my own and be exactly who I want to be.
So, to those who may not have a best friend, know that there is value to your loneliness and that one day it will all work out.
