What is that chilly feeling over my poor little toes? Why do i feel like wearing a snug pair of gloves? Ah, I see: because summer is ending at the time of year it always does and that means the cold-cold winter is about to walk somberly through, preceded by the beautiful brunette known as autumn.
Well, now that all the fun in the sun is having the curtains drawn upon it, what is there to look forward to in the shivering days ahead?
4. The leaves will turn brown and mushy, as usual.
Though this first installment of news is about autumn as opposed to winter, it's near enough, ay? Though I can't be certain, as it hasn't happened yet (a priori reasoning), it is now the time of year when the green green leaves are about to turn red red red, or brown, and fall gently to the ground. Once upon the floor, the leaves go through a series of stages.
The first is call "the freshly deceased". In this stage the leaf maintains a rigidity and softness similar to its alive state due to it having been alive not so long ago. The second (by far the most mesmerizing and wonderful) is "the crisp". The defining characteristic here is the sound and texture of the leaf when crushed underfoot, which has been the muse of millenias of boring, unimaginative and palid poetry more akin to the third stage, known as "shitty sludge". At this stage you just want autumn to be over with so you dont have to wade through streets-turned-swamps of mulchy, rainy gunk.
3. Chrimbus is on its way!
I'm fairly certain that Chrimbus will happen to you and your family soon-ish. As I write this, the calender on my phone tells me that it is currently the seventeenth of September. Normally Chrimbus happens at some point in December. That means that if you calculate all the days between now and when Chrimbus is, you'll find out how many days away Chrimbus is from right now!
2. My job is going to pay me.
That means I will have money. They haven't done it yet, but it's understandable because i haven't even worked there for a week yet. When they do, I think I'll buy some beer and smile with some friends at the pub and talk to them about stuff that's been going on in my life recently. Maybe I will have some new things to tell them that they're interested in and who knows, maybe they'll have a story or two for me and who knows, maybe one of those stories will involve a small man with a big smile and an awkwardly big pair of dungarees who is holding a trowl. Who knows?
1. I'll eat breakfast.
I eat breakfast everyday and I think it's a really important meal and I enjoy it most of the time. That means that by the time winter rolls around, and assuming that I'm still alive (or in any right state to make/eat breakfast) then I'll probably still be eating breakfast everyday and enjoying it. I often eat beans on toast because that's got protein and carbs and it's bloody delicious. So that's definitely something to look forward to this winter, I think.
