In today's modern world, we've seen a resurgence of a look that was shunned from the professional world for many years: facial hair. The era of coming out in public completely clean shaven every day seems to have passed, and with it bringing facial hair back to its former glory. Although this may seem like a very simple concept of keeping a plain beard on your face that looks good and professional, it hasn't been all that simple. I've identified the four main subcategories amongst this rising phenomenon.
The Crustache
I have to start with the most cringeworthy of them all. Typically found on 13-15-year-old guys or those in their early 20s giving their best attempt at "No Shave November." It's not a good look. It looks extremely patchy and out of place, kind of like having food stuck on your face after a meal and just choosing not to wipe it off. He'll most likely have some spotty hair on his cheeks and a slight soul patch to accompany it, but it nevertheless looks wrong. It's easily comparable to older men who are balding but choose not to cut the remaining of their hair and create some kind of half bald look with a ponytail or mullet in the back. Does the extra hair really look good? No, but as long as he has some hair he's not technically bald, right? The same concept goes for guys rocking the crustache because they'll tell you that because they have some facial hair, that they can grow a beard.
The Short and Tight
This is the look that embodies all that is right with facial hair. It's clean cut, well kept, and makes you look like you need to be taken seriously. You are masculinity. This was the reason facial hair has become popular, and chances are if you can grow one, there's an 110-percent chance you'll look better with it.
The Neck Beard
I genuinely don't know where to start with this one. It's not doing anything for you, and it's not really even facial hair because 90 percent of it's not on your actual face. It looks like if you super glued a bunch of leg or chest hair onto your neck, or you cut off everything but the neckline of a wool sweater. It looks itchy, and just extremely weird. The only reaction you may receive regarding it is, "What's that stuck to your neck?"
The Caveman
Many people, including myself, can go either way on this one. If you take proper care of a long scruffy beard, it looks spot on. Many women won't admit it, but they genuinely love the manliness of this look. Something about it is extremely appealing, but there's a flip side. In the fall and winter, it makes sense. But when you're walking around in 75-degree weather with a shag carpet hanging from your face, people are going to start asking questions. In my eyes, I see it as almost trying too hard to look masculine. It's going just a little overboard, like what happened with long hair on men. It started off that a longer hairstyle on men could look fashionable and a little sleeker, but now you have guys walking around with man buns trying way too hard. Scale back the caveman guys; you don't want to turn into the man bun of facial hair.
Most importantly guys: if you can't grow a beard, don't force it. Embrace the clean shave.
