38 Thoughts While Watching 'Diners, Drive-ins & Dives' | The Odyssey Online
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38 Thoughts While Watching 'Diners, Drive-ins & Dives'

"I'M GUY FIERI AND WE'RE ROLLING OUT. THIS IS DINERS, DRIVE-INS AND DIIIVES!"

Olivia Murphy
Jul 01, 2015
Miami University
168
38 Thoughts While Watching 'Diners, Drive-ins & Dives'

Everyone on this earth loves to watch FoodNetwork whether they admit it or not. Binging is too easy when gobs of delicious food on show after show is projected on TV. There's one in particular that is way too easy to binge-watch, and it's "Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives" with the iconic white-spiked hair host, Guy Fieri. Between weird jokes, ridiculous foods, and the overall commentary, this show is easy to make fun of and love at the same time. Let me take you through the thought-process of binge-watching Triple D:

  1. Okay. It’s 10 P.M. Time to fuel the Food Network obsession.
  2. Please, please, please, let Chopped be on.
  3. Great, "Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives" is on instead.
  4. Hopefully it’s not a marathon.
  5. Yup, it’s a marathon until 4 A.M.
  6. Well, there’s nothing else to watch, so... why not?
  7. "I’M GUY FIERI, AND WE’RE ROLLING OUT. THIS IS DINERS, DRIVE-INS AND DIIIIVES!"
  8. It must be kind of dangerous to shoot that intro because you know, he’s actually driving.
  9. The first restaurant is literally called “Restaurant.” Oh.
  10. I’d drive right past it. How does this janky-looking place have the “best Asian/Caribbean food west of the Mississippi?”
  11. “Pork butt? My middle name is Pork Butt!” Is it, Guy? Is it?
  12. Ew, they’re making pigtail? Bull fish? No thanks.
  13. Wait, that actually looks delicious.
  14. Why am I so hungry all of the sudden?
  15. Next stop: restaurant inside of a gas station.
  16. How do people trust a restaurant on the side of a gas station? How??
  17. Back to the food. This little Mexican guy just pulled a 70-pound brisket out of the oven.
  18. That brisket looks PHENOM.
  19. Guy just inhaled a brisket sandwich. How is that humanly possible?
  20. Kind of grossed out. Kind of ready to jump in the car and get my own.
  21. I’m so hungry. It’s midnight. How am I on the fourth episode already?
  22. I want brisket. And fries. And that fish empanada thing.
  23. Wait, I hate fish. But it looks so good!
  24. Well all I’ve got is cereal and pizza rolls, so… damn this show.
  25. The camera shots are going so fast! Salt. Pepper. Cayenne. Secret spice blend. Garlic. BAM.
  26. Does the cameraman ever get to try the food?
  27. “Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. Are we making beef jerky to take with us on our trek over the Norwegian ice lands?” How do you even come up with this stuff Guy?
  28. How do these cooks respond to Guy’s jokes so well? I’d be like "haha yeah."
  29. Props on landing this show, though. Trying the best dishes at cool restaurants all over the country for free? ~Dream job status~
  30. He's always screaming!
  31. How doesn’t Guy get extremely fat on this show? He’s literally eating fried butter right now. Yeah, I’d do that, too.
  32. Do these restaurants have a certain test to pass to get on the show? What if a group of kids sent in a million recommendations for a really crappy restaurant?
  33. What if he actually hates a dish? That’d be so awkward for everyone involved.
  34. "Thanks for watching Triple D, America!" What is this show, a bra size?
  35. Wait, he’s already signing off? Bring back the brisket.
  36. All the sudden, it's 4 A.M.
  37. Why did I do this to myself? I didn’t even want to watch this show in the first place!
  38. Well done, Guy. Well done.

As much as I'd rather watch "Chopped" or "FoodNetwork Star" reruns, "Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives" will always satisfy my late night binging.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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