The day you turn sixteen is a rite of passage. You get your driver's license, start making adult-like decisions, and... can apply for most minimum wage jobs. It's basically a rule that your first job needs to be a fairly terrible one- like taking orders at a drive thru window or standing behind the customer service desk at a major retail store (and who knows, you might even stay there for a year, or two, or three...). No matter where you work in retail, you learn some great life lessons (and some not so great). Here are the signs you're one of these lucky associates.
1. When someone says "Hi, how are you?" in your everyday life you have to bite your tongue to keep you from saying "Did you find everything alright today?"
2. You can tell how difficult a customer will be as they walk in the front door and you start to place bets with your coworkers.
3. You've lost more name tags than baby teeth.
4. You own at least one pair of sensible mom shoes because you would rather be unfashionable than stand in uncomfortable shoes for ten hours (and you learned this the hard way).
5. You've become a math wizard at predicting certain totals with tax.
6. And how much a 20% coupon will remove.
7. In fact, it's made you consider pursuing a math related career during your hours of contemplating death on the clock.
8. You prolong every break until the last possible second.
9. And milk your trip to the bathroom for at least five minutes.
10. You've gone to the stockroom to look for an item and contemplated hiding on one of the shelves instead.
11. Because let's face it, no one can find anything in there because there is no organizational order.
12. You've heard the same songs on repeat so many times that you have to change the channel immediately when you hear it on the radio.
13. You've had to check the price of items for a customer when the sticker was right on the front.
14. And then when you point it out, they try to cover by saying "Oh so that IS the price."
15. When you've tried to save the planet by asking if a customer's single item needs a bag your good intentions are always squished when they immediately say yes.
16. Before going to work, you contemplate how casually you can possibly dress without violating the dress code.
17. You've found the perfect hiding spots behind your register for coffee, snacks, and your cell phone.
18. The technology breaks so often (corporate won't fix it...) that you know exactly how to handle it because you are basically a repairman.
19. You've mastered the fake smile and talking through gritted teeth.
20. You have a spoken code between your coworkers to back you up when stupid customers are present.
21. You've spent so many shifts hyped up on caffeine that you basically need it to survive any shift.
22. You've secretly given coupons to customers that have been nice to you when you've had a really long day.
23. You've had customers cancel their own credit card purchase and when you proceed to tell them to swipe again, they say "It's not going to charge me twice, right????"
24. You give yourself mini pep talks from the parking lot (or plot running away).
25. You spot "regulars" from a mile away and try to hide when they walk up to the register (give them to the new employees- they don't know yet).
26. You've heard so many dad jokes that you've contemplated screaming if you hear another one.
27. You know that kids can either make (aw cute you're waving) or break (oh god you're screaming) a situation.
28. You fight over who can get shopping carts from the parking lot (even when it's negative twenty degrees) just because it gives you an extra 5-10 minute break from hell.
29. The only reason you don't call in sick for 6am meetings is because there are free donuts and you're getting paid to sit and not listen to what your boss is saying.
30. You've become the master of coming up with excuses when a coworker asks you to switch shifts.
31. You have to think extra hard to keep yourself from answering your cell phone like the store phone.
32. You haven't had the chance of participating in "Black Friday" in years because you're always, well, behind the register.
33. You've been accused multiple times for "forgetting to put an item in the bag" when you know for a fact it was not there.
34. There are certain coworkers you avoid like the plague because you know you'll get into an awkward conversation you're not mentally prepared to have.
35. You've learned that the real motto is "The customer is always wrong" until proven correct.
36. You've had to act like you're really excited about a tacky item.
