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35 Ridiculous Things My Roommates Say And Do

If you meet weird people, thank them for being a little insane.

Catherine Craig

May 09, 2016

Chelmsford, MA

35 Ridiculous Things My Roommates Say And Do

Catherine Craig

Moving mid-second semester into a new dorm across campus honestly gave me so much anxiety. I only had one class with one of the girls, but as the semester comes to an end, I realize I was blessed with weird new roommates. Even though I am transferring, I need to dedicate a somewhat thanks to these two psychopaths. So, to thank them, here are the most common, ridiculous things they both say and do.

1. I think I broke my pillow in half.

2. Did you know when you squeeze the air out of my pillow it expands when I stop applying pressure?

3. I flushed my ice cream down the toilet and it looks like poop.

4. I’m going to press on the horn every time we drive by women running.

5. I only drink light pink seltzer and I’m so sad I can’t find it anywhere.

6. I only poop with music on.

7. I’m actually insane.

8. I only make my bed before I go to bed.

9. My wall is covered in boogers and unknown stickiness.

10. The cookie I ate made me orgasm.

11. Wow, I’m disgusting.

12. I saw the cutest child at dinner and I literally just wanted to steal it.

13. Ugh my stomach. It’s a terrible day to get the sh*ts, there’s no toilet paper.

14. I made a nursery rhyme about our neighbor Luke.

15. If a shooter ever showed up at our school, I would immediately pull down my shirt so fast hoping he won’t shoot me because I have boobs.

16. I’m such a needy girlfriend.

17. I’m trying to grab the bag of Twix with my toes.

18. I managed to grab the bag.19. So I bought Nikki Twix, but I’m the one eating them.

20. You spray yourself with five squirts every morning.

21. No, I only spray myself with three!

22. Screaming turns me on.

23. Why would you point the bottle towards me? I don’t want to be hit with a bottle cap!

24. What the f*** are you doing? You’re so weird.

25. I used to be able to do a split and now I can only get this far.

26. I smell like sh*t.

27. Burps

28. My new deodorant isn’t working.

29. Why’d he take all his T-shirts home? What do I sleep in now?

30. I'm addicted to white wine.

31. No, that photo makes me look fat!

32. My head says ab workout, but my heart is says pasta.

33. I'm psycho.

34. I sweat when I make my bed.

35. I think I just peed poop.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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35 Ridiculous Things My Roommates Say And Do

If you meet weird people, thank them for being a little insane.

1. I think I broke my pillow in half.

2. Did you know when you squeeze the air out of my pillow it expands when I stop applying pressure?

3. I flushed my ice cream down the toilet and it looks like poop.

4. I’m going to press on the horn every time we drive by women running.

5. I only drink light pink seltzer and I’m so sad I can’t find it anywhere.

6. I only poop with music on.

7. I’m actually insane.

8. I only make my bed before I go to bed.

9. My wall is covered in boogers and unknown stickiness.

10. The cookie I ate made me orgasm.

11. Wow, I’m disgusting.

12. I saw the cutest child at dinner and I literally just wanted to steal it.

13. Ugh my stomach. It’s a terrible day to get the sh*ts, there’s no toilet paper.

14. I made a nursery rhyme about our neighbor Luke.

15. If a shooter ever showed up at our school, I would immediately pull down my shirt so fast hoping he won’t shoot me because I have boobs.

16. I’m such a needy girlfriend.

17. I’m trying to grab the bag of Twix with my toes.

18. I managed to grab the bag.19. So I bought Nikki Twix, but I’m the one eating them.

20. You spray yourself with five squirts every morning.

21. No, I only spray myself with three!

22. Screaming turns me on.

23. Why would you point the bottle towards me? I don’t want to be hit with a bottle cap!

24. What the f*** are you doing? You’re so weird.

25. I used to be able to do a split and now I can only get this far.

26. I smell like sh*t.

27. *Burps*

28. My new deodorant isn’t working.

29. Why’d he take all his T-shirts home? What do I sleep in now?

30. I'm addicted to white wine.

31. No, that photo makes me look fat!

32. My head says ab workout, but my heart is says pasta.

33. I'm psycho.

34. I sweat when I make my bed.

35. I think I just peed poop.

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

27. Burps

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