31 Struggles Of Having An Outgoing Personality AND Social Anxiety

The second sentence is true. The first sentence is false. Damn, well, which one is it? Life is full of many complicated contradictions. The real paradox, however, and one of my biggest enigmas, is having an outgoing personality with social anxiety. Have you ever wanted to be surrounded by others while at the same time be alone? Yeah, me too. Here are just some of the struggles that an extrovert with an introverted mind faces:

1. You have tons of friends but are very selective when it comes to who you're truly close to

2. You love the idea of making plans but are known for bailing last minute

3. Because people make you question your entire existence and every move

4. When you do decide to go out, however, you're the damn life of the party

5. Because, for the life of you, you just can't seem to stop talking

It's the anxiety.

6. So you either stay out until 3 a.m. doing body shots or you leave by 9 p.m.

7. And if you do stay out dancing on a pole, you get a social hangover

AKA staying in bed for 5 days contemplating what you did, who saw it, and what he meant when he said, "talk to you soon." What does soon mean? When is "soon"?

8. You're constantly in a battle between wanting to go out and not wanting to socialize

9. You get really offended when you don't get invited somewhere

10. Yet once there, you somehow give off the vibe that you don't really want to be

Honestly, I wouldn't invite me either.

11. And you go out of your way to avoid people

12. But when you inevitably have to interact with them, you make it seem like there's nothing else you'd rather be doing

13. You are always looking forward to meeting new people

14. But hug or handshake? HUG OR HANDSHAKE?!

15. Other than that, your biggest fear is going to a party where you only know one person and then they immediately leave you when they find other people they know

16. But parties where you know most of the people are really fun

17. Which is why you usually vote against going to bars

18. You're often accused of being a flirt, which is weird since you only really like a total of 4 people

19. You go through phases of posting a lot on social media or deleting all of your accounts

20. When you do post, though, you check how many likes you got every minute

21. You're a natural leader

22. Which is why people often choose you to be the one to give the presentation, confront the boss, make the speech, etc.

Meanwhile, you practically throw up at the thought of any public speaking (AKA speaking to more than 2 people).

23. You're immensely indecisive

24. You struggle between wanting to be recognized for your hard work and achievements, but panic at the idea of someone paying any attention to you

25. You really don't know how to say "no"

Because you're afraid if you do, everyone will hate you.

26. You hate any kind of surprise

27. You're an open book

28. Which means you often share some pretty inappropriately personal information by mistake

29. You know all of your worries are extremely irrational

30. And you can get pretty lonely

31. But, you also really like to be alone