Divorce.
This is a word that has so much negative connotation around it. However, it seems to be the go-to for many married couples in this day and age.
I am a child of divorce and to this day, it is something that still heavily affects me. My parents divorced when I was 8 years old and right now, I’m almost 21. It’s been nearly 13 years since the divorce, but it’s still something that always sits in the back of my mind.
While the divorce took a toll on me, there are many positive things that it did teach me. I feel like only the negatives of divorce are ever explored, and I’m here to share three positives effects that it had on me.
1. Never give up.
Being so young when the divorce happened, I didn’t really understand what all was going on. I‘m fortunate enough to have two parents who continued to live after the divorce. My mom took on a new responsibilities and my dad took on a new job. This showed me a lot, not only about them, but also about myself. In probably one of the most difficult times of their lives, they still made it. This showed me that no matter how many times I fail a test, or how many times my heart gets broken that I just need to keep pushing and I will be ok.
2. Don’t be bitter.
I have so many reasons to be bitter towards love. I have so many reasons to have trust issues or to think that everyone is going to hurt me. I have so many reasons to blame my parents for the fact that I have relationship anxiety. But I don’t. I realized that things happen, people grow apart and move on. It scares me to think that one day, someone could just decide that they don’t want to be my husband anymore, but it doesn’t make me want to never experience love. The fact that my parents divorced when I was young, I never got to really experience what a happy marriage looks like. But I’m thankful anyways because I have high hopes, high standards, and I know the kind of marriage that I want to have.
3. I will never get a divorce.
This is something that will always stick with me and on the day I say my vows I will hold it very near and dear to my heart. I resented my parents for getting a divorce for a long time, but as I’ve gotten older I realized how different the two of them are and how unhappy they would be if they would of only stayed together for my brother and I. My mom got married when she was only 19, and my dad was in his early 20’s. How in the world did they know they were meant for each other at such young ages? I decided that I will wait and I will do things different. I will only marry someone when I know, and through the good and bad we will work it out. Divorce will never be an option for me.
I hear so many people talk about how damaged they are from divorce, and I get it. There are a lot of negative aspects that come from being a child of divorce, but I’m thankful to still have both of my parents who work together as major parts of my life who teach me and help me grow, despite of their divorce.
