3 Things To Consider Before Going On A Baecation

3 Things To Consider Before Going On A Baecation

And How to Make the RIGHT Decision
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From the ages of 18 to 24, when most women think of a who to go on vacation with, they consider their best friends or their significant other. There is always this thought process that makes us think "what am I looking for? Absolute fun, or a wonderful connection?" Of course, when we choose to go with friends, we know we'll have a blast. Contrarily, when we choose to go with our significant other, we are walking with a double edged sword. Based on my own experiences, as well as the experiences of my girlfriends, I bring to you three things you should ask yourself before taking a baecation.


1. Where are you going?

Within a relationship, each party has different likes and dislikes. There are places that one of you will enjoy, where the other one will be completely miserable. There are also places where you'll both love or hate, depending on who you both are. You need to consider what each person's limits are and what makes you two happy as individuals before booking that flight or renting that car.

2. How are you paying for it?

Usually, going dutch is most convenient. Both parties pay half and call it a day, or one of you can put it on a credit card, and the two of you can pay for the trip together, later on. If you're traveling within the U.S., you must consider where and what you'll be eating. Food prices add up and it can be expensive. However, if you're traveling outside the country, resorts are usually all inclusive. They're more expensive, but always worth it.

3. Are you ready to take that step?

When you're on vacation, you don't get much alone time. When I say this, I mean from each other. Going on vacation together means that you two will be together, all day, every day for the duration of the trip. Unless you decide to book separate rooms, chances are you'll get in each other's way. Are there things that he or she does that annoys the f**k out of you? Are you prepared to smell the bathroom after they've used it? (I actually recommend using Poo-pourri Toilet Spray, it costs $9.95 on Ebay for a 2 .oz bottle. It works wonders!)

Whether you're in like or in love with this person, preparing yourself to take a vacation with them can be scary. If you're not ready, it can make or break your relationship. The best solution to any of your worries is to sit down with him or her and just talk about it. See where each of your heads is at and go from there. If its meant to be, you two will be fine.

Cover Image Credit: H. Hensly

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An Open Letter To Every Girl With A Big Heart, Except When It Comes To Herself

Because it's so much easier to love everyone around you before yourself.
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They say the key is that you have to "love yourself before you can love anyone else," or before "anyone can love you."

For those who deal with mass amounts of anxiety, or have many insecurities, that can be an extremely hard task. It seems much easier to tell your friend who is doubting herself that she looks great in that top than to look in the mirror and feel the same about yourself. It is much easier to tell your significant other that everything is going to be OK than to believe it will be when something goes wrong in your life. It becomes easier to create excuses for the ones around you than for yourself, and this is because you have such a big heart. You want those that you love to be happy and worry-free, yet you spend nights thinking about everything you have on your plate, about what you did wrong that day, fearing if someone in your life is mad at you, believing that you will never be good enough yet convincing everyone else that they are.

You are the girl with the biggest heart, yet you can't love yourself the way you care for everyone else in your life. There are many reasons that you should love yourself, though, and that's something that everyone around you is willing to tell you.

You're thoughtful.

Before doing anything, you always consider how it is going to affect those around you. You don't want to do anything that could hurt someone, or something that could make someone mad at you. It does not take much to make you happy, just seeing others happy does the job, and it is that simple. Because of this, you remember the little things. Meaningful dates, small details, and asking someone how their day was is important to you, and it makes those around you feel important too. You simply just want the people that you care about to be happy, and that is an amazing trait.

You're appreciative.

You don't need a big, fancy, and expensive date night to make you happy. Whether it's a picnic on the beach or a night in watching a movie, you're happy to just be with the person that you love. You appreciate every "good morning" text, and it truly does mean something when someone asks how you are. You tend to appreciate the person that you're with more than the things that they provide and for that, your sincerity will never go unnoticed.

You have a lot of love in your heart.

Every "I love you" has meant something, just as you remember the smallest moments that have meant the most to you. You remember the look in your significant other's eyes when they told you that for the first time. You remember the smile on your best friend's face when you told them that everything was going to be OK and that you would always be there. You remember the swell of happiness your parents felt when you decided to surprise them with a trip home one day, and you thrive off of all of that love.

You don't give up on the people you love, even if they have given you a reason to.

It is a foreign idea to just drop someone from your life, even if they betrayed you. You try to look at their mistake from every stance, not wanting to provide an excuse for them, but to give them another chance. Not everyone deserves it, and that is something that you learn along the way, but you feel good in the sense that you gave them a chance even if no one else would.

It's OK to not love yourself all the time. It's normal, and natural to stand in the mirror and think about everything wrong. And it's OK to love other people, even when you can't feel the same about yourself. But your big heart is why you should love yourself. There are so many reasons that you are a beautiful person, and the people that you spend all your time caring about feel that you have so much more to offer the world, and yourself.

So, next time you think about what you don't like about yourself, remember what makes you special –– the size of your heart and all of the love in it, and then share that love with yourself.

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Poetry On Odyssey: On Growing Pains

"I said to the sun / tell me about the Big Bang / The sun said, 'It hurts to become.'"

- Andrea Gibson

rcdoerr
rcdoerr
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sorrow drips into her heart

soiling the busy veins,

pumping blood that whispers,

and there is comfort

in the sound


a dead sea barely contained

red waves roiling under parchment skin

she is awash in crimson fire

stepping in perfect time

with the tides


dust settles in her sunbeam showers

muffling their song with the suffocating memory

of things long forgotten

tucked away behind bookshelves

and lost in the post


elegance draped over shrunken shoulders

fading in its beauty

like the impression of a handprint left on frosted windows

or a curtain in the sun for too long

a murmur curled around the silence


she is lifted through time

like it is only a word

shakes off the wings of her youth like stardust

and casts them into the night,

silent as the dark that brought them.

rcdoerr
rcdoerr

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