As I first understood it, yoga was the one option I had for high school gym that allowed me to sleep for at least 10 minutes in a dark, quiet place. I took that refuge as I could, and tried not to feel silly practicing my 10,000th sun salutation before seeping into a superficial, sleep-deprived Shavasana. Back then, yoga was considered a very crunchy-hippy granola thing, synonymous with deep breathing and other forms of excess air being released from the body (yanno, like farts), and I never practiced it beyond the confines of that ill-lit gym room.
I didn’t realize at the time that yoga could have benefitted me in a myriad of ways. Throughout high school, I struggled with an eating disorder, one so relentless and gnawing that it eventually lead to multiple hospitalizations. I used my eating disorder as a form of stress relief, as a way of dealing with a world that had been, in my experience, pretty upside down. As I grew stronger in my will power, I grew physically weaker and weaker, until I could no longer move in ways I had previously, and was unable to practice activities I had once loved, such as attending dance classes and even playing piano due to a starvation-induced inability to concentrate.
I consider now how yoga might have helped me then. For the past month, I’ve been practicing yoga at home almost every day as a form of exercise and stress relief. In this brief time, I’ve already noticed some seriously amazing benefits.
1. Yoga has reconnected me to childhood curiosity and wonder.
As I practiced Yoga with Adriene one evening, she mentioned that if I felt comfortable, I could roll forward onto my head and extend into a headstand. I practiced gymnastics as a child and was immediately brought back to how it felt back then to balance upside-down. As I extended my legs upwards, I felt scared, but also in awe of my body. The body is incredible in its ability to heal and remember. Feeling the familiar sway and rock of my body, despite everything it’s been through, was validating.
2. I’ve started to find space in crunched up, tense areas of my body.
For years, I’ve had what feels like an impenetrable knot in my right shoulder blade that extends all the way into my neck. As I practiced a video for neck and back pain a few weeks ago, I was directed into a stretch that extended the muscles of my shoulder blade and upper back. For the first time in years, I felt non-invasive relief. One thing I love about yoga is that it’s designed to be holistic, and can actually ease the pain if you let it.
3. I’m getting stronger!
Yoga tends to build strength using the body as a tool, and I’ve noticed certain positions working different areas of my body. Downward facing dog, for instance, provides a great arm workout, and planks work the abdomen. I’ve also really enjoyed positions that encourage balance. As a dancer, working on balance is always a focus of mine, and it’s great to find that even basic yoga poses can challenge me in that way.
Finding balance is also a great metaphor for life; setting aside time to practice almost daily helps me meet my life balance quota. How do you encourage growth and balance in your life?
