Pride is something we all feel, but describing it is a very hard task. Before we can know how pride takes away our happiness, we need to take an in-depth look at what pride really is.
Pride (Webster’s Dictionary)
- A feeling that you respect yourself and deserve to be respected by other people.
- A feeling that you are more important or better than other people
- A feeling of happiness that you get when you or someone you know does something good, difficult, etc.
While we all would most certainly agree that this is how we describe pride in everyday language, pride is actually much deeper than this. Pride is a feeling of happiness that only comes when we feel that we are better than someone else. This may seem strange, but let me explain. If a bodybuilder is proud that he has big muscles, then what does he have to do to achieve this pride? He has to play the comparison game; he has to actually see someone else with smaller muscles. It’s this comparison that takes away our happiness.
Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man. – C.S. Lewis.
- Happiness becomes dependent on performance.
- Pride hurts our relationships.
- Pride separates us from God.
When a person is in a deep state of pride, their happiness actually becomes completely reliant on their performance or circumstances. Going back to the bodybuilder, as long as this bodybuilder is the biggest guy in the room, he will maintain this state of happiness; but as soon as someone bigger walks in, he all of a sudden feels less of himself. It’s not soon after that that this hunger for more sinks in. He will not feel the same level of joy until, consequently, he has “risen above” this other bodybuilder. Our happiness should be steady; it shouldn’t need to constantly be based on our performances. This won’t happen until we let go of our pride.
"And I saw that all toil and all achievement spring from one person’s envy of another. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind." – Ecclesiastes 4:4
Pride naturally causes us to look down on others. If a rich man is proud of his wealth, he will naturally look down on and be uninterested in creating a relationship with a poor man. This comes down to every single aspect of pride, whether it’s sports, beauty, or intelligence. One of the many pleasures in life comes from creating relationships with people. Not only this, but if you have pride, then some aspect of every relationship will be hurt. Pride causes us to look down on others, but it also causes us to despise those who we envy. This is worse than before, because now this person is under our skin, and again, taking away our happiness.
If I am a proud man, then, as long as there is one man in the whole world more powerful, or richer, or cleverer than I, he is my rival and my enemy. – C.S. Lewis
"Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited." – Romans 12:16
Pride separates us from God in two ways:
The first is that we let our pride tell us we don’t need God. We start thinking that we are righteous and look down on others. This is a very scary thought once we look at 1 John 1:8-10: “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.” If we find ourselves to be righteous then we will stop asking for forgiveness.
The second reason is because God opposes the proud, the very root of a person’s happiness should come from their relationship with God. James 4:6 says, “…God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” We have to realize that our happiness can be a steady experience, completely un-reliant on our circumstances and performances, but that can’t happen until our pride is gone.
"In his pride the wicked man does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God." – Psalm 10:4
Pride is something we all deal with. It’s not easy to get rid of, and it takes a constant awareness. Pride comes into our hearts so easily. With every compliment, we have to check ourselves. The easiest way to check our pride is by checking our motives. Are we happy because our intelligence can help those around us, or are we happy because our intelligence is better than others? It’s time we strip away our pride and start truly enjoying life the way God planned for us to.
