There are very few times in my life that I remember feeling genuinely proud of myself. Ironically, the two I remember distinctly happened after I did one of the things I hate the most; running. If I think hard enough and remember back to almost three years, I'll end up picturing my first day at of rowing practice. Not to go into a sappy montage if the weather and atmosphere but, I think telling you the details of that day makes it all the more special to talk about tonight; November 17th, 2016. So let's rewind to junior year at the start of the fall season. To keep it short, up until the day I started crew I never called myself in shape, let alone an athlete. I could barely run one lap around our high school’s track, nor could I keep up with everyone when it came to the circuits. Yet, after the end of the fall season, our team partook in a fitness test to see the progress we made from day one; needless to say, my expectations were VERY low. Yet, on that day, along side one of my greatest friends, I ran a whole mile without stopping and shaved a few minutes off of my initial time. I still get goosebumps thinking about the moment we crossed the finish line. At approximately 4pm that day, the sun was shining and but there were nothing but tears coming from my eyes by the end of practice. At that moment my insecurities were erased and I felt infinite. Little did I know then, that I would be sitting at dinner table with my college teammates three years later.
My next milestone has left me on a high for the last hour of my night and I can't help but smile until I start walking and remember what I did; and again start to cry tears of pure and utter shock but also with a sense of pride. Winter training for the rowing off-season has already begun and has done nothing short of kick my butt. To be completely honest, I have had numerous emotional breakdowns about whether or not it's good for me, if I'm good enough to continue, whether or not it's my place. Because, college is about academia first and without succeeding in that, rowing crumbles too. Everyday I feel weaker rather than stronger, and I wonder if my heart is already leaving the sport. But, it was doing just the opposite. I was being tested on how much I believed rowing meant to meant to me, and how much I was willing to put my body through despite my insecurities, pain and discomfort, and confusion. So, for my second workout of the day, I tied my sneakers and headed for the track where I ran 6.2miles. A 10k. I ran for over an hour without stopping. At 5:15pm when the sun was asleep and the only light were the stars and the football field, I ran 6.2 miles. When I was the only one on the track I breathed through the pain of the first 2 miles, and by 3 miles I felt like I couldn't stop, and I didn't. And again, my emotions were uncontrollable.
You know the song “One Moment in Time” by Whitney Houston? Well, she says “Give me one moment in time, when I'm more than I thought. I could be.” Well, here was my moment when life cut me a break, and I let myself be strong and happy.
