1) Wake up every morning and set your day on the right track with a positive affirmation, repeat throughout the day as needed.
Make sure that your affirmation includes statements that embody what you see as the good in yourself. For example, those of you who have seen or read The Help, recall that the nanny of the little girl gives her a positive affirmation each time her mother scolds her and leaves the little girl feeling so sad about herself, saying "You is kind. You is smart. You is important." In fourth grade, I had a teacher that made us write out a positive affirmation before each test. "I am calm, I am smart, I can do this!" I find it helpful in my affirmations to not set goals such as, "Today will be a good day," but instead, assuming the goal, and the accomplishment; leaving no room for doubt. "Today is a good day, today I am happy, I am beautiful, I can do this."
2) Have a list, mental or physical, of the things that make you happiest.
For example: my Grammy loves clean sheets, I live for long showers, and my Mom fiends for chocolate cake. In moments of stress or anxiety, make a promise that you will seek and reward yourself with at least one item on that list. Think of a song that you know you cant help but smile when it plays, places that elicit the sensation of peace and security, people you love, foods that you crave, the act of reading a good book or working up a sweat, napping. With this list in mind, no matter the level of stress or anxiety you are at, you may counter-act it with the awareness that you have numerous means of escape, or many buttons on a remote, each that allow you to press pause. My list includes: kombucha, big hugs, hot showers, SUNFLOWERS, orangutans, singing and dancing like no one is watching, cookie-dough cakepops (yes, if you haven't tried them you MUST), dark chocolate, meditation, and long conversations with people I love most.
3) Give yourself permission to just let it go.
I have come to the realization that stress is a choice. Anxiety is not a state of being, it is an emotion that too shall pass. In times when I feel so overwhelmed by the world, I am freaking out, panicking and telling myself I just can't do it, I have to stop and remind myself that I am choosing to feel this way, I am allowing these stressors to affect me and just as I chose that, I have all the same power to stop them. After experiencing a really traumatic heartbreak, there would be days where I would come home in shambles and sob to my Dad; telling him how upset and angry and devastated I was at this or that (whatever was relevant that day...it happened a lot.), and his response to me would always be "Nikolah, right now you are choosing to feel this way...it sucks, but let it go. You have complete control over your emotions, so stop giving that power away to others. Simply choose to not let it affect you and be happy." Basically he told me to get over it. At first, those words stung. It wasn't at all what I wanted to hear. It seemed like he just didn't get it. Then, as days and weeks passed, I realized that while nothing was getting better, there was one bit of advice I hadn't considered... and yes
Dad, it was yours. You were right. It wasn't until I found the empowerment in letting it go that I was able to really start healing and find happiness. This method can be applied on any scale, whether it be homework, something a friend or coworker said to you, or just anything and everything all at once. We as humans have a tendency to hold onto our feelings of frustration, stress and anxiety, anger, hurt for as long as possible in order to feel validation for them...however, I absolutely encourage you to try to allow yourself just let it go, and see where it may take you.
