It’s been quite some time that you and your significant other have been a thing, or as most now say, “talking”. Wait, what the heck is “talking” anyways? To sum it up, “talking” is basically a loophole term that Millennials created to avoid the commitment that comes with a label. However, if you really think about it, it’s a label for a label. So, good one Millennials. Now we’re all confused. No, but seriously, after a good bit of the “talking” phase, isn’t it time for you two to start dating? I mean, everyone knows you’re both pretty much off the market, so just make it official already, would ya? So you do...and you totally regret it. Why you may ask?...
- Change is Good!… Sometimes
Even though you were working out significantly well without considering each other as dating, you begin to experience this crazy idea that since the label changed, your relationship should. It almost becomes forceful to make sure that you keep up with the “hype” that dating appears to be. There’s a feeling when a relationship just feels natural; when you can’t even remember what it’s like to feel self-conscious around someone that you’re romantically interested in. It’s not a feeling that someone often feels, so if you find it, don’t take it for granted. But if “dating” scares you into making sure everything’s perfect in every single way at all times, you’re going to be unhappy.
2. Ah, the Honeymoon Phase
After dating for a bit, you often catch yourself thinking back to the beginning of your “talking” phase with this person. This may include how you met, how you got each other’s attention, and any other thing that quickly reminds you of that “spark” you two possessed. Now, you fast forward and don’t seem to feel those constant butterflies and jitters anymore. If you could, you would do anything to go back to “the Honeymoon Phase”. This cliche term, believe it or not, has been the ultimate homewrecker for as long as anyone can remember. Eventually, this phase will fizzle out, and you will try to rekindle it-- there’s nothing wrong with trying. But it will fail, and so will your relationship. (Sorry, that was harsh.) It’s extremely important to understand that you can still care for someone as much as before without this phase that has plagued hopeless romantics for ages. A genuine relationship will get boring and repetitive, which is what many couples fail to recognize.
3. Make an Effort, Not an Excuse
Although you’ve recognized that the Honeymoon Phase ends, effort should not. Just because the relationship becomes routine, often times it is mistaken for not having to try anymore. Your simple everyday “Good Morning” text is so miniscule, yet it means the world that you’re in their mind when they wake up. Even when they are taking the time to decide on a place for dinner, it shows that they put thought into the relationship. The point is, whether we realize it or not, effort can become such a mundane thing that is taken advantage of. Imagine on the days you don’t spend with your significant other, not even communicating with them at all. Or, when you ask what’s for dinner they respond with a careless “I don’t know, you pick” for the 30th time. All of a sudden, the “little things” that sub-consciously made your relationship work don’t exist anymore. And if not addressed, it leads to extreme frustration and overall, utter disappointment.
You see, things were perfectly fine when you were “talking” because there was no anxiety of living up to anyone’s expectations of dating. Since you weren’t up to the highest potential label you could be (other than marriage), you both always thought there was room to build the relationship. The label of “dating” provided you both with security; effort didn’t matter because you were already dating so there’s nothing else to try and work on. All of these can easily explain why, unfortunately, maybe it would’ve worked if the label was never put in place. Who knew Millennials might be onto something after all?
