My 16-year-old version of myself has made me to never want a daughter. I was every mother's nightmare of a teenage daughter, and I can't believe how lucky I am that my mom didn't call it quits on me when I would have.

They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder, and I think this is why my mom became my best friend when I moved to college a couple of states away. From swearing up and down that I would never return home once I left, I ended up frantically searching for flights back home for the weekend in my dorm room. I missed my home, and nothing I did could have made campus feel like home because my mom wasn't here.

I had to choose who I wanted to be, understand the rationale behind the decisions I made, and offer thoughtful advice to my friends who were feeling the way that almost every freshman does — lonely. There was a trending pattern I noticed in all of the opinions I had and everything I said: it sounded like my mom.

I gathered all of the times Mom said anything to me, corrected anything I said, scolded me for something I shouldn't have done, loved me when she did and didn't show affection when I didn't deserve it. I saw a reflection of her heart in my own. My mom will probably never read this, and that's okay with me because knowing her, she would undoubtedly make fun of me for exposing my feelings as much as this. That's one of the first things my mom taught me: don't act on your emotions. Along with that, the other two valuable convictions she's instilled in me is that generosity is a form of currency, and actions speak so much louder than words.

Lesson 1: Don't act on your emotions

I remember my first heartbreak and how unsympathetic she was towards the situation. Girls (and I guess guys, too), you know how painful a heartbreak feels, and you know that you would do anything for the sting to go away. My mom told me, “This is the first heartbreak of many, and each and every time, you are going to have to just get over it."

Just get over it. When I was 17, I was so bothered by this so-called “advice" and blamed it on her the fact that compassion wasn't one of her strengths. A few years later, I owe my emotional strength to Mom. What I once perceived as one of the most thoughtless offers of advice has now resulted in the happiest, strongest version of myself. Feelings are something you just have to get over, but this comes with mindfulness and your conscious choice to move past whatever it is you're feeling. Every day, when I feel annoyed, impatient, or just hypersensitive because I'm a girl and it happens, I choose to get over it and I haven't had a bad day since.

Lesson 2: Generosity is a form of currency

My mom is a gift-giver. Every year since kindergarten, she would always ask what end-of-the-year present I was going to buy for my teacher. I complained, explaining to her that no one else buys teachers presents and that I felt stupid. Still, she insisted.

When a friend's mom gave me a ride to school on days my mom couldn't, my mom would write her family a thank-you card along with a Starbucks gift card. “Mom, it's so unnecessary," my brother and I would complain. Still, she insisted.

If I'm meeting a long-time friend and she knows that she's been struggling to pay her bills and hasn't been receiving financial support from her family, Mom always made sure that I bought her lunch. Almost every time, without fail, my mom gives me her credit card or money to feed the both of us. I told her no, and that I can pay for myself and she wouldn't be meeting with me if she couldn't afford it. Still, she insisted.

Throughout this process of constantly giving and giving, I can't recall ever hearing my mom talking about her wants. This is why her birthday, Mother's Day and Christmas are so difficult for me because she will never admit that there is something she's been wanting. Instead, her gracious heart gives because generosity is a form of currency.

I believe this is the most important lesson my mom has taught me. When you do favors for others, they will repay you. It's not about “scratch my back and I'll scratch yours," but it's about how you make others feel. My friends know that I don't count how much money they owe me, how many rides I give them to class, or how many coffees I've bought them. Yeah, it's hard being a college student and not being able to realistically afford everyone's needs and my own, but when I need a ride from work, I know that someone will pick me up. I believe this is because they remember how they feel when someone else spends time out of their day to make their lives a little bit easier, and they want to pay it forward.

Lesson 3: Actions speak louder than words

The funny thing is, my mom has never said to be generous, to give graciously, and that generosity is a form of currency. These are words that I've derived on my own from watching her actions. It's taken me awhile for me to process her actions and convert them into words of wisdom, but I hear her voice whenever I speak and I feel her heart whenever I act.

One of the strangest aspects of my mom and my relationship is that we don't say, “I love you" to each other. But I know that she's my biggest fan and she loves me more than herself. Her actions toward me exude the utmost version of the kind of love a mother can have for her daughter. I mean, can't you tell just from reading this article? I don't need her to say anything, because I know that she is a woman of action and her deeds more than justify how she feels about me.