Relationships are marvelous, wonderful, cotton candy and rainbow filled distant lands that we are taught to strive for at a very young age with movies like Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. Women are typically coy little creatures looking to be saved by a big strong man. The truth is that relationships are work. To truly have a sound relationship, you need to be fully in tuned with yourself so you do not get lost in someone else. I love seeing those cute little old couples holding hands in the park because they are a great example of how hard work and the will power to never give up, does exist. We live in a time where "if its broken, we just get a new one." That goes for romantic relationships and friendships. It's very hard to find people willing to put in the real time and effort to build a long-lasting bond.
Here are 3 things you should master before getting into a relationship.
1. Energy
Their problems become your problems and their emotions can effect yours. That is draining within itself. Imagine having a truly magical day and coming home to a dark cloud. Energy transfers easily and it takes a strong mind and sense of self to be emotionally available for your partner while also continuing your magical day. Take some personal spiritual time out to reflect on your past relationships and your current being. I advise you to learn how to meditate and become really in control of your spiritual self. Connecting on a deeper level with another human does weigh on you spiritually. If you are not spiritually sound, your partner can drain you. Having your energy and spirit in check, can prepare you to take on a relationship in the future. Whether it be romantic or friendly, human interactions become a breeze when you have yourself together. In arguments you will be aware that there is your side, their side and then the truth. Personal growth is being able to self evaluate while also having an open mind to exploring the truth. Having the ability to admit your faults and flaws is a true test of character and a great foundation to build meaningful relationships from.
2. Be alone
How can you expect someone to date you properly when you haven't dated yourself? Take the time to figure out your likes and dislikes completely. Go to the movies alone. Get dressed up and go to that restaurant you've always wanted to visit alone and read a book. From personal experience, I had my heart broken while on vacation and instead of sulking and staying in that negative bubble, I took myself on all of the adventures I was supposed to do with my significant other. It was the most liberating moment of my life to realize I didn't need someone I felt like I couldn't live without. I had tons of fun, met new people and fell in love with myself all over again. Alone time is great reflection time. There's a certain je ne sais quoi about exploring the world alone.
3. Examine your insecurities
Sometimes when we get into relationships too soon, we tend to deflect our insecurities onto our partner instead of taking that personal time to reflect on the source of the issue. We wrap too much of our worth into how others perceive us. The deeper you get involved with someone, the more vulnerable you become to their thoughts of you. If you took that much needed time out BEFORE getting into a relationship then you would've already discovered your worth and you would understand your needs, boundaries and deal breakers. You would also know there is no such thing as "you made me feel...". The truth is no one is in control of your emotions except for you so if you allowed someone to make you feel a certain way then that is on you.
At the end of the day, we are all humans just trying to find our purpose in life and be happy. Whether that means being in a relationship or not, solely depends on your interests for the course of your life. In any aspect, being in tuned with yourself can only have a positive rippling effect on the world around.
