I'm one of those people that has a really hard time working out on a regular basis. Sure, I wish I did, but most of the time, it just seems out of my reach. I sit around eating popcorn and watching "The Bachelor," wishing I had the perfect beach bodies that they did while I can't even maintain 10,000 steps and my UP (basically a FitBit) bracelet reminds me of that every day.
However, this semester I've decided (for the third semester in row, respectively) to actually try and go on a semi-regular basis. On the maiden voyage of my rec visit, which was today, I slowly came to realize some things about working out and the people that I watched. So here are some thoughts that I have when I'm working out on campus.
1. Is it possible for someone to work out without earbuds in?
Seriously. I know music helps, but I literally saw two people trying to have a conversation with each other with their earbuds actually in their ears still. Rude.
2. Why do some guys wear beanies while working out?
3. PINK brand yoga pants do not in fact make you run faster.
4. But I wish I had those yoga pants.
5. If I skipped buying groceries this month, I could probably order those PINK pants.
No, I don't need them. I'll just wear my shorts and T-shirt for nine years ago (God, I'm old).
6. I literally have no idea how to do ab workouts anymore.
Like, are crunches still acceptable? Touching my toes? Oh, that girl is totally judging me.
7. *Covertly looks at the girl on the machine next to me to see how many calories she's burned compared to me.*
8. How has she burned more than me!? I've been here longer!
9. Oh, it's because she's working at six levels higher than me. Dammit.
10. Oh God, my upper lip is sweating. I can handle forehead sweat, but a perspiration mustache is never cute.
11. Did anyone notice me wiping my upper lip sweat?
12. OK, time to run on the track now.
Do my arms look weird when I run? I feel like I look like a t-rex.
13. Is that guy looking at me breathe weirdly while I run?
I'm so out of breath, but I have to breathe normally so he doesn't look at my weird breathing face. (No one is looking at my face.)
14. What am I going to eat later as a reward for working out?
15. Holy crap, that girl is so in shape. I wish I was in that good of shape.
I totally would be if I didn't love beer and cheese so much.
16. Wow, I really am a Wisconsinite.
17. How come some people look so beautiful working out?
Pretty sure I look upset and pink-faced.
18. Jiminy Cricket, this bicycle seat hurts my butt so much.
This school has so much money, can't they spring for ergonomic seats?
19. OK, I'll stick it out on the wedgie seat for 10 more minutes.
20. Two minutes later: Yeah, I'm done.
21. I hate running so much.
How can some people like running so much? It hurts my everything.
22. Girls could run so much faster if they didn't have boobs.
They just get in the way. And sports bras are uncomfortable, but thank God they exist.
23. Why does everything jiggle while I run?
Can people see my jiggling? What is even jiggling?
