So you came into existence by no will of your own, congratulations! Not everyone understands exactly what it's like to apparently be alive and interacting with other people and objects in a plane you can only assume is real, and boy, is it interesting! Here are a few things only people who were born or otherwise brought into existence will understand!
1. Breathing
Classic.
2. That feeling you get when you're right and another person is wrong but they won't admit it.
Existing isn't always good, sometimes you have to deal with people who just make the very concept of life difficult.
3. The wind blowing through your hair or over the place where you don't have any hair on top of your head.
Nature is truly powerful and destructive, but it's toss of your hair/ caress of where there is no hair is something that always brought a smile to your face.
4. Doing homework for hours on end or not doing any homework because you know the teacher won't grade it or not doing homework because you don't care or not doing homework because a family emergency is happening or not doing homework because you don't go to school either because you graduated or school just wasn't in the cards for you.
It's really a drag.
5. When you finally or will finally feel confident enough to tell that person or no person at all that you may or may not feel any number of emotions towards them, some of which may or may not be romantic or lustful while others include anger or weariness or any other number of difficult to describe chemical reactions in the brain.
It'll be awkward at first, but you'll feel way more confident when it's off your chest. Shout, "I'm hungry" at the stranger walking down the street, You'll feel better, I promise.
6. We all know that one guy with an irrational fear of bees unless you don't know anyone at all.
What's his deal? I mean, I know he's allergic and could actually die out here because he forgot to pack an epi-pen, but, come on man, can't you just get over your life-threatening allergy and let us have a good time at this honey farm we broke into?
7. Sharing #relatable content on social media platforms unless you aren't on social media or don't have internet access.
All those people you call friends but don't actually talk to will surely love this article on a set of experiences they may or may not also have had or will have in the future.
8. This picture:
Remember when you saw this for the first time? Crazy times, right?
9. The regret you felt when you did one thing but later realized you should have done another thing.
It kind of eats away at you when you're alone at night, but that's just part of the whole existing thing, you know?
10. Food.
Everybody eats it, and nobody knows why!
11. This webpage, if you can read English and understand all of the words.
Been there, done that.
12. Dogs.
Everybody who exists understands dogs, that's why their our best friends! Who else will listen to your woes and offer advise in the soothing voice of George W. Bush, which all dogs speak with, or otherwise make an enemy of dogs by trash talking them on the street. It sure is great to be able to understand exactly what dogs are saying to us.
14. Avoiding the number 13 or thinking the avoidance of 13 is silly and superstitious or having no opinion on the number thirteen.
Whichever ones of those you are, you're right and everyone should agree with you, but, well, see number 2.
15. Your sweet sixteen unless you're younger than sixteen, don't really care for birthdays, or come from a culture where your (apparently pointless) coming of age ceremony happens at a different time.
Remember all your friends that were there or will be there that you were not or will not be friends with a year from the party? So do/ will they!
16. When you ran out of things to say so you just say some affirmative word without much meaning behind it followed by a written or verbally-apparent ellipsis?
Yeah...
18. When you were expecting one thing but a whole other thing happened.
WHOA!
19. When you were expecting one thing and it happened.
WHOA! I should have bet money on that.
20. Not being able to fully identify with another's emotional state because they only ever express it with memes on Facebook.
You want to be there, but you're not a hard-memeing individual like they are.
21. Flying with the wings that you were born with unless you are not the one dude who was born with functioning wings.
Nothing like the freedom of flight or the jealousy that come with being the 7.4 billion who have to rely on manufactured wings.
22. Food.
Seriously, why are we eating this?
23. Adrenaline rushes.
Nothing like tricking your body into believing you are in an actual life-threatening situation or actually being in a life-threatening situation like being allergic to bees in a honey farm. Fight or flight, homies!
24. Being the height that you are.
God, everybody is a height that is different than yours and nobody understands the problems that come with being the height that you are, which is the best height to be.
25. The feeling you may or may not get when you do or do not finish reading this article, which you may or may not have started because you may or may not be able to access it because you may or may not have internet access and you may or may not run in a social network that would eventually bring you this article, not to mention that this article is in English, which you may or may not speak, and it is written, while you may or may not be literate, and, frankly, there's a good chance you saw the article, thought "what kind of pretentious oaf wrote this?" and then went about your day not bothering to click it or even read any of it, which, I mean, hurts a little, but that's part of your existence and you're still included in this.
What a good feeling to have accomplished something, or what an absence of this feeling everyone who didn't make it this far has, both are valuable parts of existing.
