Some people eat to live, and others live to eat. While there is nothing wrong with only thinking of food as your main source of fuel to survive and get through the day, I find a much greater pleasure in living to eat. Honestly, the only thing that gets me through most days is looking forward to the next time I get to eat. After breakfast, I start counting down the hours until it's acceptable to take a lunch break. After lunch the only thing keeping me alive during that 3 pm slump is day dreaming about what I get to eat for dinner. After dinner, now this is the long haul, I'm sad that I have to wait 8 hours till breakfast (midnight snack anyone?). Some people might consider eating to be just something they have to do when they get hungry, but for us food lovers out there we know that meal time is a chance to relish in the opportunity to try different foods, treat ourselves to our favorite cheat meals, and pursue our favorite hobby, and yes, eating is a hobby. It's a hobby that we are lucky enough to get to do everyday, at least three times a day, for everyday of our lives, how many other people can say that about their other hobbies? Now if you love eating and food as much as I do then there is a good chance that when you're too full to eat, or just can't seem to justify having another "cheat day" for the third time this week, than you have to get your fix from the TV. Yes, I'm talking about the Food Network. Whether you're a Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives (Triple D for the true fans) junkie, a Chopped fanatic, one of the twisted sadistic folks who enjoy the cruel torture of Cutthroat Kitchen, or you like to keep it old school with some Bobby Flay, who basically is the personification of the Food Network it's self, there is something for every food lover.
1. When you turn on your TV, the Food Network is already on. Yes, it's the last thing you watched, and it always will be. At this point you could lose your remote control and never be worried because why would you ever need to change the channel?
2. Your on a first name basis when it comes to your favorite Food Network stars. Your friends might get a little lost when you start talking Bobby, Guy, and Giada like their old buddies, which they are.
3. When watching competition shows you start planning in your head what you would do with the required ingredients. Rainbow radishes, swiss chard, gummy worms, and rack of lamb? Cue the reduction sauce.
4. You are well aware that on Chopped, a "deconstructed" anything is the go-to when you have no idea what you're doing.
5. You might think bleached tips and bowling shirts are trendy.
6. You have quite a few theories on possible Food Network love triangles. Bobby and Giada? I don't know, maybe that's just me.
7. You're ultimate dinner setting is eating while watching the food network. It's a sensory experience.
8. Parmesan cheese is now "Parmigiano- Reggiano", and you pronounce "Riccota" like you were born in Italy. Is it incredibly pretentious? Yes, but that's how Giada does it so who cares.
9. You've been to a restaurant featured on Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives. And chances are you went out of your way to go there. Bonus points if you actually planned your whole trip around it.
10. You know the difference between "sweet bread" and "sweetbreads".
11. You get legitimately excited when someone actually beats Bobby Flay.
12. You may or may not time yourself when cooking dinner, just to see how you'd fare.
13. You watch your favorite Food Network shows even on Netflix. Incidentally, your Netflix cue would lead many to believe you're either a professional chef or way upwards of 600 pounds.
14. You have actually thought to yourself "wow I should be a chef", and then you realize your skills are limited to a George Foreman Grill, and microwaveable frozen vegetables.
15. If you're lucky enough, your boyfriend/girlfriend might share your same love for the Food Network, but if they didn't before they do now.
16. You might be more than a little judgmental when a supposedly "professional" chef cuts themselves. And then you realize that you use one $5 knife from Walmart that is barely sharp enough to cut a carrot.
17. You don't actually like Cupcake Wars per say, but Aaron Samuels from Mean Girls is the host, and his hair still looks sexy pushed back, so you suffer through.
18. When eating out at restaurants you might find yourself being more critical than Alex Guarnaschelli. Because honestly the fish should have been seared skin side down and the sauce could have really used some more acid.
19. You have tried many times to flip flood while sauteing them in a pan, and have failed miserable every time. Not embarrassed to admit that I have even tried a YouTube tutorial to no avail.
20. Curtis Stone. Do I really need to say more? I fell in love watching "Take Home Chef" when I was about 12, and he is now the sole reason for watching All-Star Academy.
21. You sometimes wish you were 11 years old again so you could go on Chopped Junior, then you realize they are still better chefs then you are now. If it was easy bake ovens, maybe you could have stood a chance.
22. You have recorded something on the Food Network to watch later, or watched an episode on demand. At this point you are so addicted that the near constant reruns of all the shows isn't even enough.
If you have thought "yup that's me" to at least half of these you might just be addicted to the Food Network. Also we should probably hang out, and watch the Food Network of course. Stay hungry friends.
