21 Things To Remember If You Want A Longterm Relationship
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21 Things To Remember If You Want A Longterm Relationship

Becoming comfortable can lead to unnoticeable bad habits. Remember these important points while in a relationship.

21 Things To Remember If You Want A Longterm Relationship

ing in a relationship is pretty amazing. You live love and grow with another person. You begin to trust and love the person you decided to share most of your time with. As time goes on, though, we naturally begin to become comfortable with our partner and easily forget important things while dating. Here are a few thing to keep reminding yourself while dating to ensure your relationship last as long as it is suppose to.

1. Happiness comes from yourself; not your partner.

Happiness should not come from another person. If you become dependent on another person to make you happy, then you will be constantly let down. Depending on another person to make you happy will likely lead to the end of your relationship. Depend on yourself only for happiness. Do the things you love with or without your partner. Be who you want to be regardless of your partner and they will either accept it or not. You're in a relationship to work as a super-powered team, not a captain and follower.

2. Complimenting is key.

People like hearing how amazing they are. Letting your partner know they did a great job cleaning the house or put on a great outfit can go a long way to boost esteem. Having your hard work acknowledged, in general, is a fantastic feeling.

3. People have feelings.

Speaking of feelings, remember your partner isn't a robot. It is easy to see your partner as a best friend with whom you are able to joke about with anything. At the same time, they are more than your best friend, and their feelings for you are invested in a lot more than you being a best friend. That means if you make a bad joke about them, it is going to hurt their feelings badly. Your partner has feelings too. Your feelings are not the only one affected when you make a decision. It is important to keep that into consideration.

4. Actions are louder than words.

When we become comfortable, it becomes easy to assume "I love you" is enough. Words are sweet and necessary but displaying that love with a spontaneous act is very powerful. This also applies to the promises you make in a relationship. Don't be the person who always says something but never follows through.

6. Disagreements are normal.

Don't start panicking if your relationship is going through a period of disagreements and frustrations. It's completely natural for people to disagree. The important thing is to communicate through these disagreements. At the very least, come to an understanding of why they might disagree with you.

7. Humans make mistakes.

Everyone is going to mess up one way or another. Don't expect Mr. or Mrs. perfect to be... well, perfect. Give your partner the same consideration you would want to receive if you were the one to mess up. This applies to all degrees of mistakes. Giving second chances may be difficult, but it's a spectacular gift to give someone.

8. People change and grow.

Eventually, you are going to learn your partner extremely well. You are going to learn what makes them happy, upset, sad, their favorite food, etc. We fall for a person's tendencies and passions. We fall for their personality and appearance. The reality of most situations is that your partner will change and grow. Your partner will gain and lose weight, develop new habits and in some cases go through an extreme change in personality. All of this is perfectly OK. People need to do what is best for them in their life. Remember people change. Instead of trying to hold onto what you used to have, you have to learn to adapt or leave the situation.

9. Your support means the world.

being in a relationship means your opinion matters to your partner. If your partner has a passion for doing something, your support might make or break them in going for that passion. Every situation is going to be different and there will be some situations where you cannot support their action. That is OK but just remember, in any situation you're dealing with, your support for your partner is very important.

10. You are not the center of their life.

Let your partner breathe. No matter how strong your feelings are. No matter how long you have known the person. Give your partner space. Let them go out with friends without you. Let them watch a movie without you. Leave the house to give them a day without you. Even a few hours a day just to be away from each other can work wonders. Space is a hidden gem.

11. The meaning of commitment.

Commitment is something to not forget during the hard times. Doubts and questions will arise throughout a relationship. It happens because that is what we do as a species. When those times appear, remember a relationship is supposed to be about dedication towards each other. Be dedicated to making the relationship work, no matter what. Remember your commitment to your partner during the great times as well. Be determined to improve the relationship every day and grow. Be committed to success.

12. Maintaining passion is a team effort.

Don't depend on your partner to keep the spark going. Be one to suggest something spontaneous. Suggest something interesting to try or something both of you used to do and love! When both of you are eager to do something with each other, the passion becomes difficult to lose. Ensure you do your part to keep the engine running.

13. You represent more than yourself.

When your relationship is public people will begin to associate your name with your partners. If you're a guy and you go on social media bashing women, your girlfriend will hear about it from a third party. People will look at you and question your values. They will also look at your girlfriend and question why she is with someone like you. Same thing applies if the roles were flipped. Just remember that most of the things you do reflect on the people you are associated with.

14. Your partner has needs, too.

Be very mindful that your partner is going to need certain things from you in certain moments. Maybe they need you to listen, clean the house when they come home because the day was so long, or for you to be completely unselfish in the bed room. Whatever the situation may be, remember to look out for these situations where your partner needs you.

15. Remember your partner's value.

"The grass ain't greener on the other side." "You don't know what you have until its gone." It happens. You're eventually going to become "used" to being around an amazing person every day. When those times come, just think back to your first experiences with the person. Think about the amazing things they have done recently. Enjoy the little things and big. You're with that person for a reason. Do your best to remember all the reason you started and the reasons you continue with your relationship.

16. You cannot change someone.

The journey of a relationship is beautiful and difficult. Never assume you can change or manipulate your partner. They are not going to change unless they want to change. People can change and grow. In most cases they do, but you cannot create that change. Only they can change themselves. Remember the most you can do is let them know about their actions. Once you let them know, it is their choice to change. You either live with the way they are or you don't. Remember to never put extra stress on yourself attempting to change another person.

17. There is no substitute for time.

Don't rush anything in a relationship. Time is the best indicator of everything. Time will let you know that your relationship is built to last. Time will let you know peoples true intentions. On the other side of the coin, nobody knows how much time they have on this earth. Be smart with your time but do not waste much time. Basically, remember you have time to make every second matter.

18. Remember the little things.

No matter how many big things you do the little things always add up to be more. You could throw your partner an 'I love you' party every weekend but if you don't display your love every day of that week, then your ship will sink. Every day matters. How you treat your relationship on a daily basis matters more than how you act on an anniversary. Treat every day like the perfect opportunity to display your feelings. It can all be so simple.

19. It does not pay to always be correct.

You might be correct about the amount of peanut butter in the house but is it really worth the stress of an argument? Some things honestly do not need to be debated about. It's just not that important. Pick and choose your fights. There are times where you need to stand your ground and times when they can just learn the hard way. Remember to just let some things go for the sake of both party's sanity.

20. You control your fate.

At the end of the day, you're responsible for the things in your life. Relationships are a team concept but we all know some teams can be carried by one man. You may need to step up from time to time and do every and anything possible to make that relationship work and if you do that, it will work. I personally cannot think of a situation where you cannot make it work if you didn't want to. If you're cheated on, you make the choice to forgive and try to rebuild with that same person.

If you cheat, you make the choice to do WHATEVER is needed to make sure your partner understands you are there for them. If you want that long-lasting relationship, you most likely won't cheat. You can push yourself to the extreme to maintain a relationship if you want to. The keyword is if you 'want' to. Think of all the failed relationships you have been in. If you switch your perspective and blame yourself for it not working you begin to realize the things you could have done differently to make it work. I am not saying that it may be worth it, I am just saying you control your destiny the whole way. Remember that every day. If the relationship starts to go south, be the one to bring that ship back up again.

21. Don't forget to work on yourself.

Remember the best way to make a relationship work is to be the best version of yourself. The goal is to keep improving in life and growing to be the best you can be. When you stop growing the relationship stops growing as well. Remember the star player is yourself! Keep yourself happy and improving and everything will follow!

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