Three days after the New Year, I turned 20 years old. It was the first time I actually felt like I changed ages. Gone were the teenage years of feeling helpless and lost in this big world as my parents held my hand and guided me with words of wisdom and advice. Not only will I probably never write the number one at the beginning of my age again, but as my Starbucks barista so kindly mentioned, I'm also halfway to 40. That's a scary thought.
While I still have a lot left to learn, I decided to reminisce on my childhood and think of 20 lessons I've learned during my 20 years on this Earth.
1. Being negative will only cause negative things to happen in your life.
Being a Negative Nancy isn't good for anyone. Having a positive outlook on everything I encounter makes everything less stress-filled.
2. Sometimes it's best to swallow your pride and admit you were wrong.
I'll be the first to admit, I don't like admitting I was wrong, but I've learned that you'll gain a lot of respect from your friends and coworkers if you admit to your faults.
3. Be honest.
This was probably one of the first things I was taught in kindergarten. Even now, it's still applicable. Telling the truth will gain you a lot of respect and lying doesn't get you anywhere.
4. Your parents are always right.
I used to hate listening to what my parents had to say. It took a couple of learned lessons, but as always, my parents were right. They're wiser and have already experienced a lot of the same things I have. It doesn't hurt to give their advice a try.
5. Reminiscing on past relationships is never a good idea.
You're just digging yourself a hole that will get harder and harder to climb out from. What's done is done. Put it behind you and don't look back.
6. Never settle. Ever.
You deserve better and deep down you know it. Don't lower your standards or expectations just because there's no one around who reaches them. It'll be worth the wait.
7. Keep in mind others' expectations and wishes for you, but remember that your dreams come first.
My mom has pushed me towards a career choice she thought was financially stable for most of my life. While making my mom happy is really important to me, sometimes you have to do what you want. Choosing what you're going to do for the rest of your life is a perfect example.
8. Not everything is as big of a deal as you think it is in the moment.
In middle school and high school, I would get incredibly worked up and distracted by drama and gossip. Seeing my high school sister go through the same things now really puts in perspective how little those problems were. The things I think are a big deal now will seem minuscule down the road. Don't get worked up about things that won't matter years down the road.
9. Self-growth starts with stepping outside of your comfort zone.
I have learned so many valuable skills by putting myself out of my comfort zone; It builds so much confidence and leadership skills. I would not be the same person I am today had I not taken a chance and did something out of the ordinary.
10. Let people think what they want, it's your life and you should do what makes you happy.
People will talk. There's no stopping it. They'll even talk when there's nothing to talk about. While gossip and rumors aren't anything you can ever escape (trust me, it carries into adult years, too), you shouldn't lead your life by what others are saying about you. Do you. Give them something (good) to talk about.
11. Remove negative people from your life.
These people surround you on a daily basis. It's so easy for them to turn into a distraction that ruins your mood. The best thing to do is remove them from your life.
12. Planning is a great habit to start.
Being late to meetings and events is unprofessional, so why not start a method of planning? I use the calendar in my phone to plan all my social and work events. I also have a separate agenda for all my school related events and homework due dates. Staying on top of deadlines is a good habit to start now.
13. Everything happens for a reason.
Sometimes it's a lesson learned, other times something great happens. Had I not pushed my friends to go to a random frat party one night last semester, we would have never met one of our best guy friends. Don't overthink your actions. Just do it and let whatever happens play out.
14. Work hard to see every point of view.
In today's world, there are so many conflicting points of view. Too often I see people assuming their point of view is the only point of view that matters. While everyone is entitled to their own opinions, understanding others' different opinions is also important. Being informed about world views and problems that are being faced is extremely important.
15. Find an activity that releases your stress.
There are lots of different activities that I've found help relieve my stress. During high school, it was swimming on my school's team. There was something about mindlessly performing the same strokes over and over again that relieved all of that day's stress. Last year, I found my love for yoga. This year, I've started cardio training as well. There are so many ways to relieve the stress from your body through physical activity.
16. Love yourself.
The Biebs definitely knows what he's talking about. You have to be able to forgive yourself and learn to love your flaws. Even if his mama doesn't like you when she likes everyone, you have to love yourself.
17. Create a routine.
You'll save yourself so much time if you create a routine for yourself. Doing the same thing every single day creates order for the rest of your day and your mind is less stressed.
18. Don't procrastinate.
I know everyone says it, but it's about time you started doing it. You'll lose sleep by staying up late to write that paper you knew you had since the semester started. It's really in your best interest to start earlier.
19. Setting high goals for yourself is the only way you'll ever succeed.
Having something to aspire towards is the best way to work hard at whatever you're doing now. If you don't know where you want to be in five years, you'll have less reason to do well now. Set goals for yourself, then go out and achieve them.
20. Music is the perfect escape. Start exploring all of it.
While we all wish we could jet away to a warm beach during stressful (or cold) times, it's not always realistic. Use music to escape to that happy place. I've discovered so many new artists by using Spotify's great feature called Genres and Moods. They've got categories and subcategories of everything imaginable. You're trying to write a paper and need some background music? They've got a "Focus" category. Then choose from "Productive Morning", "Epic All Nighter", or "Hip Hop Study Break". There's music for every situation. Explore it.
