20 Things Only Utahns Will Understand And Appreciate

Born and raised, Utah is, as I describe it, a bubble. To non-Utahns, this state might as well be another planet.

We have the some of the most beautiful mountains and national parks in the entire country, but Utah is a state full of weird habits, quirky phrases, and odd obsessions.

Here are some things only Utahns will understand and appreciate.

1. We have clever beer.

OK, so Utah is a VERY dry state, but both Utahns and outsiders alike have to admit that this beer is quite hilarious.

2. So, we talk a little funny? What about it?

We have a hard time saying the letter “t” and vowels. This breakdown may help with understanding our so-called “accent"

Milk = Melk

Heel = Hill

Pillow = Pellow

Creek = Crick

Mountain = Mow'un

Picture = Pi'chur

3. How to correctly pronounce some of our weirdest towns:

We have some oddly named towns, like my hometown of Nephi in Juab County. There's also Tooele and Hurricane. To all of you non-Utahns: Nephi= /Nee-fie/, Juab= /Joo-ab/, Tooele= /Too-ill-ah/, and Hurricane= /Her-u-kun/. Odd, right?

4. Fry sauce.

Ketchup and mayo create this magical concoction, and Utahns swear that it is a nectar from the gods. This treat was created right in Utah, and it's the king of condiments. We will eat it with nearly every meal.

5. “How many moms do you have?”

People from out of state are relentless in harassing us with this question. Just an FYI, polygamy isn’t even legal in Utah. Nonetheless, I usually like to answer “five” just for kicks and giggles.

6. “Welcome Home Elder” signs at Salt Lake City International Airport.

I'm pretty sure that it has actually been proven that you cannot walk in the SLC airport without seeing one of these signs.

7. Stick figures on minivans.

Because how else are we going to know how many kids, pets, and wives Utahns have?

8. There is a church on every corner, but they all teach the same thing.

Mormons. According to a new Gallup survey, over 60 percent of the state is LDS. LDS church headquarters are in Salt Lake City, and Utah was founded by early Mormon pioneers. Nonetheless, asking when you had Seminary and what ward you were in is just so common that you never really thought twice.

9. Dating in Utah is brutal.

Everyone expects you to get married when you’re 19 to someone you’ve known for two months, and when that doesn’t sound like the future you want to have, conversations usually go, “Wow, you're already 25, not married yet, and don't have, like, three kids?! Are you okay?" Some people can't grasp that maybe you want an education and a career before having a family.

10. "Greatest Snow on Earth."

In Utah, if your car was able to move through the snow, you were expected to be at school or work. When you heard about snow cancellations on the news in other states, you thought they were wimps. It can snow two feet overnight in Utah and we Utahns do not even flinch. Utah is home to the “Greatest Snow on Earth," and no snow days.

11. Funeral Potatoes.

Utahns serve this delicious creation at almost every gathering. At every family gathering, church event, and yes, funerals, these scrumptious potatoes will make an appearance.

12. Green Jell-O.

You must think that I’m kidding, but I’m not. In fact, green Jell-O is so popular in Utah that the commemorative pin for the 2002 Olympic Games in Salt Lake City was of a bowl of green Jell-O.

13. A day at Lagoon was the best day ever.

A day at Utah’s amusement park definitely was going to be the highlight of your summer. Nothing like taking a ride on Rattlesnake Rapids and The Wicked to make some of your favorite childhood memories.

14. Or Seven Peaks Water Park.

I still refuse to go on the blue slide.

15. Utah lingo.

Words like:

  • Ward: No, it’s not part of a hospital, but rather, a congregation of Mormons.
  • Sluffing: Skipping class.
  • Elder: This misleading term isn't the same as the elderly. An Elder is a young Mormon boy, getting ready for his mission.
  • Fetch: You’re probably not playing with your dog. If you're from Utah, it’s the polite way of saying that word that rhymes with "duck."
  • Inversion: No, things are not upside-down, but because Salt Lake City is surrounded by our beautiful mountains, the pollution gets trapped in the valley. Simply, when there's inversion, it means that you can’t breathe.

16. You know nothing is open on Sundays

The only places that seem to have normal business hours on Sundays are the LDS churches found on every block, but other than this, very few businesses will open their doors on Sundays. You have a very slim chance of doing something outside your house on Sundays, especially if you live in a small town.

17. No humidity.

Utah is the second driest state in the nation. 30 percent humidity is muggy and almost unbearable. Traveling to states with humidity is absolutely tragic, for our sanity and hair.

18. You know the difference between a “Steak House” and a “Stake House."

Sounds mouth-watering when you say it, but sadly, there won’t be any rib-eye or T-bone steaks to be found. It's really just a larger Mormon church where several smaller congregations gather.

19. Utah politics and Mitt Romney

Utah is very republican. Your grandfather thinks Ronald Reagan was a liberal. And when Mitt Romney lost the 2012 elections, it was as if the world was ending. Mormon and Republican: double whammy.

20. Bumpits, or "The Box."

The picture says it all.

Yes, Utah is odd, but it will forever hold a piece of my heart.

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